  makin' bacon. whether you're the man or the woman, bring it home. put bacon on a dish, one of those microwave, ribbed, hard-plastic ones if you've got one but who in god's name does?
put bacon in the nuker for 4 minutes. turn the sizzling strips over onto other side, pausing just to swear at bacon burning fingers mercilessly. another 2 minutes. while exposing tasty pork strips to electromagnetic waves, get soft white bread or the butts in the freezer and toast. slather with butter, then the bacon, (sop up excess grease with SUBWAY napkins in kitchen drawer but leave a glisten) then the lettuce, then the razor-thin tomato slices THEN the mayonnaise. mayo must sit right beside the tomatoes, because they are inseparable. enjoy delicious sandwich. and more importantly, amazing home aroma. bacon is the new pirates of the internet. 
