  From guest loser Mark: OK, here is my recipe for Delightful One Bean Loser Salad: Find bowl in heap of dirty dishes in the sink, and wash only it, using shampoo since you're out of dishwashing liquid.
Open that can of garbanzo beans that has been in the cupboard since before you moved in. Drain liquid from beans, and if you're feeling energetic, rinse them. All this can be accomplished without removing beans, if you are a clever loser. OK, now remove the beans, putting them in your one clean bowl.
Dig around in refrigerator for that one bottle of blue cheese dressing that is one tenth full and hasn't gone bad. Pour on top of beans, mix and eat! Mmmmmm! Now put bowl back on pile in sink, and wonder if you can afford to invest in paper plates. I used this recipe two nights ago. I should be on cable TV, no? 
