  Pizza ma non Cilantro some amount of left over pizza Coke(tm) ice (optional) cilantro (way optional) Locate your leftover pizza. Slap desired portion onto a plate. (A paper plate is fine, some paper towels will do in an extreme pinch. ) Set microwave to one-minute and nine seconds and nuke away. (Adjust time according to portion size and microwave power. ) OK, you now have approximately sixty seconds to scour your refrigerator for fresh cilantro, or your cupboards for dried cilantro. (Advanced losers can try both, at your own risk. ) If you find cilantro, immediately swear and toss it into the dustbin. Alternatively, cilantro makes excellent fodder for your garbage disposal, if it is working. Serve Coke(tm) over ice and enjoy most good pizza! (Careful it may be hot! ) 
