  The urlLink chorus show. No fuckups. Two standing ovations. Some shameless backstage flirting with one of our adorable new members. It all adds up to a good time. And speaking of good times, apparently a few dedicated members of our chorus worked very hard this weekend to make the visiting German chorus feel at home (and tingly and wet and sticky).
Gay men are such pigs. And we're lousy about keeping our dalliances discreet. God love us. Every one. (For the record, I was NOT among this weekend's international sexual ambassadors. The Germans seemed nice enough, but not one of them did anything to carbonate my hormones.
Besides, I was invited to a party on Saturday night. Yes, that kind of party. And it was a total waste of makeup. ) The expanding blogosphere. Fellow chorus member urlLink Rick now has a blog. Give him a visit.
Make him feel welcome. (But not like you're a horny chorus boy and he's a visiting German. It's been done. ) The bathroom. Dear Kohler, I recently installed a bathroom urlLink faucet made by your company. I'm a fairly competent plumber, with lots of successful DIY experience and two rolls of plumber's tape in my toolbox.
So I know what I'm doing. And I know that replacing a simple faucet -- especially when you have all the right tools at hand -- should take 30 minutes. 45 tops. I also therefore know you're a bunch of morons whose bad design decisions transformed a quick project into a full-weekend ordeal for me. Who ever heard of a faucet with female water-supply connectors? And how did you determine that the water-supply hoses you included would offer only 3/8" compression fittings?
(What about those of us with 1/2" pipes in our walls? Don't we get a voice? ) And why -- in a shallow gesture toward standard plumbing sizes -- did you include female-to-male adapters (a medical miracle! ) that made the faucet too big to fit through standard holes in standard sinks? WHY DO YOU SUCK SO MUCH? Even though I now loathe you and all your employees with every fiber of my being, the faucet looks quite handsome in my snappy new bathroom.
But only because I had to lug the whole damn thing to my friendly neighborhood Ace Hardware Store -- TWICE -- and have the kindly old proprietor -- who was also quite stymied by your poor design choices -- help me jerry-rig the water-supply elements I needed to get your fucking faucet working properly. You suck and I hate you. Sincerely, Jake 
