  I've been numb....and just out of it...indifferent...blase about many things in life..insecure about me..hurt and disappointed...and more or less..very much overwhelmed. And there is no explanation or at least, none that I care to share with the world. There is many overwhelming factors going on with me. And I've become numb to reaction. I couldn't cry until tonight...finally, I cried to my best friend... but i don't care anymore...i don't care to explain my actions and why i acted so aloof and distant from everyone. someone asked me about the cons of this weekend. the biggest con was...there were so many people that i wanted to see- my lil bro art...lil sis coco and grand lil jia...lil sis junko...lil sis maggie...grand lil venus...lil bro andy....and i had obligations to the national alumnae board.
i'm not complaining - i knew that deep down inside that i had these obligations and they came as priority...it's just hard that i didn't get to spend time with them. and that's my fault. i am tired...so tired...one of those weary feelings...where i wish that icould lie down and never wake back up. 
