  what a wonderful weekend.  friday was less painful that i was thinking it to be.  which was a nice suprise.  i was thinking about bringing a pistol,  which even if i did i wouldnt have had to use it.  i did my salsa dance for everyone.
 that was abig hit i must say.  i swear,  i have never seen anna crack up more than when i do that.  ROFLMAO [ haha marma]  yehp.
did a little decortating of certain said destinations at 2 o clock in the morning as well.  [ im sorry about that too,  marma : D]  and in the end i found out that when i draw a mustache on with little curls at the ends i look like Cogsworth.
 the clock.  from beauty and the beast.  what is it with disney characters these days,  and me looking like them.  goddamnit.  saturday practice was also less painful,
 then took a turn for massively painful as we watched our routines on tape : X oh god.  drove down to st peter.  fun time that was,  very many hotties.  te he.
 went to the concert and i shed a tear during a certain song that made me think and it was all in all a great night.  went back to P- UNIT's place partied here,  partied there,  you know how we do.  it was fun.
 me and paul drew a penis on katies face when she passed out.  : D muah ah ah aha ha !  drove home and now i am here.  after hearing about certain stories from certain friends,  i have come to the conclusion that guys are cheating losers but i wish i had a nice one for myself.
 and it makes me sad.  and depressed.  and i feel worthless because when i get asked if i have a boyfriend,  and i say no,  people act shocked.  as if its really easy,
 which apparently it is,  to find a guy that will take some time to get to know me.  and that makes me real sad.  so right now,  im feeling a little bit down in the dumps.  because i want someone,
 too.  :  some days are better,  they're better than others can't run forever,  you're pushing me under what a way to live my life i'm hiding from the battles i don't want to fight what i've become and now it's going grey all the lines are blurring and decayed i can't recall exactly who's to blame.  anymore is it me or is it you ,
 something isn't right of all the things that we could do we just wanna fight someday i will find the courage to embrace you someday i will find the strength to erase you some days i think i'm nothing without you sometimes i wish that i could just kill you what a way we live our lives it's hard to breathe it feels like i'm infected by my dad's disease and now it's going grey and you're the one i chose to feed me pain and i'm the one you bring home so ashamed. through their eyes and i see myself in heaven if i can free myself from this hell 
