  a familiar sense of familiarity i spent two days in a friend's house.. basically one night there.. and lots of time in a train and some other time in auto-rickshaws and all that. got back home last night, and there was nothing more wonderful than a long hot clean bath and oodles of my favourite cold cream... before going to bed. tell me, what could be lovelier? my brother was sharing my room.. actually it's our room, so while he was here, we lived in the same room. i know this sounds selfish, but it's just a fact that having the room to myself again was a wonderful feeling.
aw, and he left home while i was in delhi. we met in delhi, near the station. he saw me off and then went to board his own train.. which was supposed to leave 15 mins after mine, but left 3 hours late. sigh. sad. point being, that i felt :( when i said bye bye to bro. :( guess it's going to be phone - life now... flushing him out of the system flushing mr.sharma outta mah system. it some talking my heart out to two very patient girlie frnds. and it was a miracle. things like "he didn't give you a chance to talk" - "if you feel bored with him.. what's the point" - who else but good frnds can point this out?
that, and a blank call. he did sound pretty awful.. a little coarse, if i may be allowed to bitch about him, now that nothing is ever going to come of it! and i hope this is the last you will hear me speak of it. urlLink ladies coupe on my way back frm delhi, i bought this book frm the railway station. my complete mini-pseudo library that consists only of indian authors (mostly - give or take some salinger and bach) has been bought at railway stations.
railyway station -rather. usually the delhi station. excpet for one or two from the chennai one.. heh, don't i sound well travelled. the only thing is that i do travel alone. and i love it. every single moment of it. there's this sense of isolation from time, place - location.. it's like being suspended - totally alone. no matter if it's a bearded man sitting beside me (usually chair car - you know, the seats are just that much more spacious than a plane's economy class) or an auntie from kolkata.. or some girl my own age. all i do is sit at the window (i make sure it's a window seat when i reserve the tickets - myself- at the station - in the queue -- this is a big thing for a girl from my family.. i mean.
all the others just tell their father who tells their servant... but me. we likes to go on our own and get it done :) )so i was saying that i like to sit at the window seat, gaze out the window.. and dream. or read. - which brings me - fortunately - back to the topic - which i am afraid i was about to miss.
the book that i bought this time on my return was "ladies' coupe". interesting reading. and a strange coincidence. the book - about a woman questioning the role/requirement/necessity of men in her life... meets all these other women when she chooses to travel alone by train... please note. i was travelling by train.. a week after a close brush with someone i could have landed up being married to. it made me think. i am still thinking. the one thing that counts - after the book - is the burning wish to DO something. to paint (like i used to- it's been so long, the hand is out of practice.. the eye sees no more. i have become old before becoming old! ) to learn something new.. a new language.. to specialise in any of the lingo's i already know, to teach someone - small kids (but do i have the patience.. do i have the skill) at least it's made me want to do something. it's going to begin.. something's going to happen. watch! 
