  all this time i was waiting wishing and hoping and dreaming and praying (like the song eh! ) for something to happen. like a fairy tale, for the right man to come along and sweep me off my feet. .. it's like this, it's going to be arranged.
the match. and so, while i waited for the day my parents would tell me, here, this, now.. i was wishing for it to happen inmmediately. but now, there is a family in delhi. the family has a son in delhi. the son works hard, is supposed to be a mature responsible hard working person. and now all of a sudden i have an eerie feeling in my stomach. somehow i don't want to go to delhi next week to meet them all.. somehow i find myself wishing that this wasn't happening. if it happens, it's going to be final. it's going to be that step of life that's going to change everything.
no more small girl spoilt at home, happy and 'fresh' and sweet. no more lotsoffriends and carefree joy. i am scared. scared till my marrow.. writing is supposed to be cathartic. why isn't this helping. why have i finished writing about it in just a few words. is that all there is to it? or is there so much that one can hardly begin to tell. or is this not the timw to write about it. if i can't write here, where can i go. whom can i tell, whom can i talk to.
yes, all of a sudden i am extremely scared - this will mean becoming a new person. i am afraid the man i am to marry will be old and boring. i am afraid he won't understand me. i am afraid that i won't have the chance to say no. i am afraid of saying no even if i had the chance to because i am afraid that i don't really know what is good for me. oh this is hopeless. 
