  blink.. blink.. blink the cursor does that. not me. blinkblink.. i don't know what to say or do.
a sudden sense of inadequacy has overcome me. there was this piece i began.. embroidery- the colours never matched. and now halfway through, and with a lot of time = money already wasted on it, it looks AWFUL. honest to god awful. and so anyway. it looks like im going to have to shelve that piece till mom returns. i've begun something else instead.. green green green.. :-?
im feeling low, inadequate .. and the funniest part is that it's a pendulum. all day i was high on a wave of enthu - (one forgets that the wave has to crash when it reaches the shore) - planned some new outfits. mostly for myself - or other young girls. i am so totally not cut out for this work :( anyway. another thing to make me feel lovely, and awful at the same time.. i watched a hindi flick. mushy sweet lovely endearing, and some called it pathetic.. quite contradictory.. but whatever. starring saif, sigh..f. i could go on and on about the movie being 'inspired' or the movie line having been completely lifted from When Harry Met Sally.. but that's the hindi touch!
but let me return to my cup of joy - saif. he has a pathetic voice, lovely comic timing, and a something that tugs at the heart strings. this is not mushy fan drool, this is.. sigh! urlLink listen to his voice ok, so at least i have a crush. and i have a more real crush on U.singh.. what's going to become of me.. im losing my marbles. my balance. 
