  Today seems like Monday. It has been a VERY LONG weekend! I have lost some days somewhere. The funeral went ok yesterday.
I was really concerned about what the preacher would say but I was impressed. As most do at a funeral, he talked on the 23rd Psalm. He didn't say anything about where Jim was now. He talked about how Jesus would be with us and hold our hand, etc. through lifes tests and trials. Then if we have a personnal relationship with Jesus, we would go to heaven when we die and spend eternity with Him.
It was short and really good. He never said much about Jim at all. He only said that we all have our own memories of him and left it at that. I am physically, spiritually and emotionally weak right now. I haven't been in church for 2 weeks nor Bible study. Last week, I didn't have a TV or computer, so I didn't have my "daily devotionals" like I always do.
With the "neighbors" we had at Indiana Beach, all the kids and then the lupus flare, I wasn't in the Bible like I wanted to be nor did I have much quiet time with the Lord. It has taken a toll on me spiritually. It doesn't matter how long you have been a Christian or how strong you may be in the Lord, when you don't spend that time with Him and be fed, you will slip backwards. My van is still broken. It has been 3 weeks now. Nobody seems to have time to fix it. So I am still stranded at home.
I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to have the test done to see if I have a blood clot in my leg. Guess I will get my power chair or "race car" as Pastor Bill called it, and ride it into town! It was great having it last week. That is why I got to actually go to the beach and be in the sun that caused the lupus flare! Oh, what fun it is to be "free"!
I missed going to the jail again last night. I have missed the last 2 now. The Country/Western outreach is in 3 weeks and I haven't even started on it yet. We were suppose to start adopt-a-block in Sept. but can't seem to get people together to have the training meeting and go out with those who have been doing it for awhile now. Now I am wondering if it is God or if it is just satan trying to stop it. Some of the people that were wanting to do it has dropped out and it has left only 3 of us.
Two of which can't walk and has to use "race cars". What good will that be? So guess I will just wait and see what happens. I have been praying about getting a job to help out financially. I don't know what I can do but there has to be something out there. We sure didn't need all these hospital and Dr. bills. Thank God my Dr. gives me samples of the few medications I take and we don't have to buy them too. Winter is just around the corner and I don't think we can go through another winter like last year. Work has been good this summer but we have been playing that catch up game and not been able to get anything ahead. So I'm not sure yet what I am suppose to do. The ministry will have to be put on hold if I get a job.
There is no way that my body can take both. So I am still praying about what I am suppose to do at this point. I know God will supply my needs but I have to do my part first. It is time to stop and rest for a day or two. I feel so drained right now and I need time with God desperately. 
