  sorry i haven't posted or returned emails. nbsp;  my cousin and her family were here for the weekend and now i have to go to bed. nbsp;  i'm exhausted. nbsp;  packing.  " but of course,  i knew i'd stay alive. nbsp;
 i knew that even if i jumped into the pool,  i wouldn't have the guts to drown myself,  though i am told that if you resist the natural urge to come to the surface for air,  drowning is the least painful method of death that there is.
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 pain or no,  i would most likely walk around in a suicidal reverie the rest of my life,  never actually doing anything about it.
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 was there a psychological term for that?
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 was there a disease that involved an intense desire to die,  but no will to go through with it?
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 couldn't talk and thoughts of suicide be considered a whole malady of their own,  a special subcategory of depression in which the loss of a will to live has not quite been displaced by a determination to die?  Elizabeth Wertzel " Prozac&
nbsp;
Nation"
