  "Don't burden yourself with anger for your enemies. Forgive them. That'll make them really angry. " Kill 'em with kindness. That's what I say! So I had kind of an emotional day today, and I really, really, need to do something about this. Lately I have been getting so upset over things, things that should not upset me. But I let them get to me and then I just get pissed off and annoyed. I think one of the reasons I have been getting so upset lately is because I have realized that I don't really do anything for myself. I try to do what everyone else wants me to do, or what I think they want me to do. If it came down to not stepping on someone's toes, or making myself happy, I would choose not to step on someone's toes. I really need to start putting myself first in certain situations. I am tired of being upset and angry all the time.
I really feel like a lost soul. Just kind of wandering around trying to find my place in this world. I think I know what I want, and I know what I have to do to get it, but there is just something holding me back. I wish I could get a handle on that. But I have no idea what it is. I like to think it's just money, but in the back of my head I think I have a fear of something.
I kind of know what it is, but it seems so silly. When I think about what I want in life, it's the typical dream that most people have, but for some reason I can't see myself attaining it. Career, husband, dog, kids. Typical! But that's what I want. I want to take care of someone, and have his children, and play out in the backyard. I want to be settled and happy and calm. But I will just have faith, I know God has something planned for me! So I will just go with the flow. So I am sitting here trying to decide if I want to go out. I went out last night, had a couple beers, and felt like I was going to throw up! I am such a lightweight anymore! I could drink more in highschool. And it was so much more fun then.
The thrill of the chance of getting caught! Partying out in the country sitting around a fire. Now that was fun! Sitting in a bar, not so fun. I want a good fall party around the fire before I leave for Cali. Even if I have to sit out in my back yard alone, I will! WHAT A LOSER!!!! Oh well! 
