  This story will probably make you think that I'm gross, really, really gross. I'm not going to argue with you. This afternoon I was doing a delicate experiment involving nanoparticles when I had this overwhelming desire to poop. I quickly finished what I was doing with the nanoparticles. Then I briskly left lab and began walking down the hallway to the bathroom. I can't explain what happened next: a small turd suddenly and rapidly ejected from my shorts. Then I resumed my walk to the bathroom and finished pooping. Anyway, the turd is still there, outside my lab. Nobody has stepped in it yet. I've finally synthesized dUMP in lab. 
