  Brent's Top Ten Things to do to Keep Himself Entertained While R. Girl is Having Fun in Las Vegas 10. ) Recreate the door kicking-in scene from Walking Tall (the urlLink Joe Don Baker one) every time I enter a room. "You got a warant? " "Yeah, I keep it in my shoe! " (Kicks in door, finds bourbon, rejoices!
.... later gets shot and wears Darth Vader mask. ) 9. ) Have my yearly "If I drink Zima alone noone will laugh at me" Night. 8. ) Find a slug on my porch when I'm drunk. Wonder at what point in the evelutionary process did slugs say "You know what? I think I'm good with the slime and the crawling. You guys go on ahead. " 7. ) Decide that not wearing a shirt under my button up shirt is too sexy to pass up. 6. ) Repeatedly get frustrated at Hitman: Contracts because I can't make it past the first level.
Just because I'm trying to put a syringe into a SWAT team member's neck or just because I decide to use piano wire to choke a mental paitient in front of a horrorified orderly does that mean I have to get shot? 5. ) Sing ... my own versions of songs! "Well, I tip my hat to the big washing ma-chine And I say hello to the coffee ma-a-ker Smile because I've got nuggets to eat.
So I pick up my nuggets and say, 'Who wants nuggets today? ' Then I open up the oven and, HEY! I'm eating chicken nuggets again! " 4. ) Catch up on my urlLink reading . 3. ) Call R. Vegas and ask what new presents she has bought me since the last time we talked! 2. ) Get excited about presents! 1. ) Stumble around Blockbuster for an hour trying to decide between "They Live! " or "Naked Ski Hookers! ". 
