  Things to say, dorks, and things to say. Let's pick up where we left off ... After my little Tuesday rant about people and signs things pretty much started looking up. People at this place have been nicer. I guess you scream at one old lady and threaten a manager and all of a sudden you're Johnny Playground around here. So, after work on Tuesday I went to this here grocery store where the high school kid who was bagging my groceries was named Brent. "Hey, my name is Brent too. " "Awesome. " "And, you know, I was a bag boy in high school too. " "Hey, maybe you're me from the future! " "If I am I don't have any advice for you. " "Aww, dammit. " Which got me to thinking ... What the fuck would I say to the Brent of 8 or so years ago? Probably to dump my fattie high school girlfriend and bang Emily Urbanek more.
I think I'd have advised to stay closer to my family during college too. But, I had no time for completing such thoughts because this happened next. An old man was standing in front of a mini-van yelling at two younger black girls. "Are you stupid? This is a one way drive! " Then he goes up to their window and keeps yelling. "Can't you read? Do you have a problem with following rules? " The girls drove off and the old smug anal plug walked off content.
But, I hadn't had my time with him yet. "People make mistakes, sir," I said in my best Batman voice. "When there are mistakes people get run over," he said, obviously flustered that someone had invaded his white-retired-cancer-bucket post-berating orgasm. "You didn't get run over sir," I said very Bruce Willisy. Oh, and I was saying "Sir" all cool and calm to get under his skin Bond style. "Mumble, walk, Mumble, Rumph, Hararumph," said Asshole. "Asshole," said Batman. So, that kind of upset me.
To be honest, I had a southern flashback and wondered if the guy kept a Dixie flag tucked under his fashionable R.E.I. gear. I then wondered if maybe the girls had been white and fat I would have laughed at the ordeal. But then again, if the girls had been white would Asshole had yelled? Dammit, I hate racism. For those of you who weren't part of the Summer of B. listen to this story. In a post debauchle hangover stupor I decided that I wanted to play kickball so I went and bought one. I was upset from the night before because this guy had called me a racist. He really did look like Jackie Chan, I was drunk, he was trying to get me to hit him and then I said this ... "Get out of here, Jackie Chan, we aren't going to fight. " "Oh, what are you racist now? Going to use that against me? " "No, ass, you look like Jackie Chan and you want to fight. Don't even pull that on me. " So, I was upset that I was called a racist when I knew I wasn't.
The dude really was hopped up like Jackie Chan. It would be like if I saw a white man killing a bunch of Russians I'd go "Hey, Stalin, calm down". So, I had to redeem myself. I wrote "End Racism Now" on the kick ball. The idea was that if I could change one persons mind than I would be redeemed for my potential wrong racial doings. My idea was this, we'd be playing kick ball and some dude with unjust racial convictions would be playing outfield. I would kick the ball deep and it would land in his hands and he would read "END RACISM NOW" and he would think, "Yes, I must change my ways". We never played kickball, but the thing sat in my room for almost two years and I hope I helped one person.
Burritos, ice cream and a movie with the female part of the Lovely Couple. Apparently she found me inside Hollywood Video after we were split up and I was just staring at a wall. When asked what I was doing I couldn't remember why I was in the store. "Huh, what the hell was I in this store for again? " What's the big deal about sobriety? Kyle is now dating a friend of R. Girl's. This should lead to some fun and wackiness. They claim to not be dating, but he has already bailed on a trip planned for Portland this weekend so they can go to a museum and study the Amish or whatever it is that couples do.
Shit, I'm at work right now and listening to a C.D. that I made in college (a collection of bands playing live on Letterman and highlight from Badly Drawn Boys first album). It has a bunch of orgasm sounds that I need for promos for the Phi Kappa Nasty show. I forgot they were at the end and they just started playing in my office (glorified room). Oops. I picked up tickets for me and the R.G. for The Shins show at the end of the month. It will be swell.
Thanks be to Eva for introducing me to them. And, while I'm at it, thanks to God for my own pair of shins. Much props. Last night was dinner with the beautiful to celebrate her new job offer. Pizza and making out is a quality night. She had to leave before me this morning and I really don't remember saying goodbye just being confused that people were moving. She left me a love letter in my leftover pizza box. Sweet, dorks. Well, I need to go work or shower. Later, dork dorks. 
