  Today is such a freaking beautiful day in Seattle. The weather is just right for me to wear my new grey lambswool sweater over my hip light/dark blue plaid shirt. And with my wind tossed hair, OOOOOOOO-EE, I am looking good and feeling a little like Al Joad in 'The Grapes of Wrath' ... that'd be after-church-pre-desperate-flee-to-California Al Joad. But you knew that, my Okidorks. It's such a nice day that I was only momentarily considering an uzi to solve the following problem ... (For the following scenario I am going to replace the monotonous duty that I do every day with the phrase "wear tennis shoes", another activity that I do every day) Me: (Walking down the hall) Pretty Br-ent, walking down the street ... Pretty Br-ent with Sauconys on his feet. This woman: (Running up behind me) Brent! Brent! I really need you to "wear tennis shoes" today. It's very important. Me: O.K., just so you know, I "wear tennis shoes" everyday. This woman: Oh, well I need you to (no joke) triple "wear tennis shoes". Me: (Confused, very confused) There was even a note attached to the thing that I was supposed to "wear tennis shoes".
It reads ... Brent, This needs to "wear tennis shoes" - no acceptions! Thanks, This woman She really wrote "no acceptions", it's not another of my AC/DC kilt mistakes. This is very frustrating because the more I try to explain to her (and show her documentation) that I "wear tennis shoes" every day the more she becomes convinced that I don't. I wonder if this has been a pattern for her entire life. "Columbus sailed the ocean blue in 14 hundred and ninety-two!
" "1947, hmm? " "No, 1492. " "Yep, 1947 sounds right. " "1492. " "That's right, in 19 hundred and forty-seven all good Columbuses went to heaven. " But, like I said, it was too nice of a day to consider uzi therapy for more than 12 seconds. I went and got R. Valentine her, well, her Valentine's Day present today. What did I get her? It's a really cool little ... can't fool me, dorks. I know you're all agents for the man. "But we aren't agents for the man. " "Agents for the man. I should have known. " "But this paper here says that I'm not an agent for the man.
" "That's right, that paper says you are an agent for the man. " Actually, that would be a pretty fun outlook on life. Well, I need to run out of this office now, my blog buddies. It's time to stash gifts, eat protein and drive to see my snickerdoodles for some pseudo-spring loving. 
