  i have known you for forever it seems like but it has only been a few years. from the first day we met we knew there was something between us outside on the porch of a friend when you told me about the problems you were having with your girlfriend. you didnt know me and i didnt know you, but we connected on a very personal level right from the beginning. later on that week, we met late at night on the road next to my house just to talk about things in life. you were having problems with your girlfriend and i was helping you out and we became the best of friends. we talked and talked and talked. i remember that night being rainy and cold but you could still see the moon and some stars and we didnt want to leave eachother. my dad made me come inside after a few hours because he couldnt see us anymore because it was so late that cars stopped driving by. For the rest of that summer we spent almost everyday together. you helping me get through the worst summer of my life and making it end being one of the best, and me helping you grow and learn and giving you new life.
by the end of the summer we decided to try being a couple. we had a blast together. we went to the beach in maine with my family and we had that incredibly funny nights with people not acting like themselves. I still remember that first night that we kissed. you walked me home from our friend's house late at night with only light from the stars. you walked me to my front steps and then we turned and looked at eachother. you leaned in making the first move and i kissed you back.
when we pulled away ever so slowly we were both in a daze. you looked at me and said "wow" i got scared and asked you why you said that and all you could say was "wow" i was afraid i had done something wrong, but you told me i hadnt. i was told never to let you walk home by yourself after kissing me again because someone said you floated all the way home in a daze and was completely in your own happy world the rest of the night.
we stayed together for a long time until school started and we had conflicting schedules and things just didnt seem right. we had tried off and on throughout the year to get together but things just never seemed to workout. we drifted apart because we hadnt talked much but when we saw eachother we could still feel that great feeling. now we make eachother angry all the time and i pretend to hate you and you pretend to hate me. but i realized the reason i hate you so much is because i love you so much more. there is no denying it. you will always have a special place in my heart. funny how my mom and i always talk about you in the same way and we always come to the same conclusion that i am in love with you in one way or another. right now we are the best of friends and may not agree on many things that the other does. but i think we have a better understanding of eachother which is great. you told me today that the concert just wasnt the same without me. and i knew that my night away from you wasnt the same without you either. i miss you. i never realized that so much until today because you were away from everyone else in your life and so was i. you may think i hate you, but i dont.
the truth is i love you. i really do. and i know you love me too. i always have loved you and i always will love you. i know this because whenever your name comes up, i never know what to say. i get angry and confused and pretend to hate you because of what you have done or whatever. i always have mixed feelings when i think of you. ALWAYS. this tells me that i have feelings and emotions that scare me and that are unknown. i know i love you. although i may not say it much, i do. you have a great big heart and im glad that you use it :). i love you. you mean a whole lot to me and im happy to still have you in my life. 
