  hmm happy happy joy joy! i feel very crappy! and i feel really fed up and just.... yea anyways lets not go into that!
yesterday and today ive worked...which yea it great, i love my job, i love the girls i work with...we even had the poppy music i can stand coz i can dance and sing to it...but today i just couldnt deal with it! the amount of absolutly gorgeous stick thin girls that came to try on thing... they dont even fit iin size 8!!! how is it fair that girls are like that!!??!! and some of them were so lovely! im just standing there....well im me!
and they're trying things on and looking gorgeous.... i just wanted to kill myself! i even noticed the scissors in the draw and soo nearly cut myself..just coz i wanted to die! i had an elastic band that i was plaing with, and as these really gorgeous girls were modelling their stuff i found my self rappin it round an round my wrist untill it was like goin blue...but more customers came in and looked at me strangely so i had toi cut it off:( i cant realy explain why im feeling so down!
ive just so had enuff of being me! i hate it! i dont want to live like this! id rather just not live! i really couldnt deal with working there everyday! its bad enuff seeing gorgeous model 'size 8's ' everywhere..but having them flouncing around in their bra's in from of u?! yea if i was a guy it would be good but ...u no what its like! i so couldnt deal today! i just wanted to burst into tears!
i even found myself playing with the spikey bit of security tags...i had a draw full!! ooooo spikey !! i just cant help myself! i could think of nothing better than death and trust me im not even being melodramatic.....the truth just needs to come out sometimes...its quite normal...everyone wants to die sometimes! hmmm :S fun fun fun! Vx 
