  What I realize is there is no congeniality prize in parenting. You do the hard work, you might still win the prize, but just being nice doesn’t get you anything.
I think I felt guilty for a lot of years for making my mom the champion of my upbringing. But she was! I remember my paternal grandmother being upset at one point that my last names were in the wrong order. She thought my dad’s should be listed after my step-dad’s name. It was just a stupid petty adult comment, but as a child I internalized it. I was used to—as children of divorce are—being careful not to share information that might inflame or upset the other parent so I didn’t dare bring it up again. I should have because maybe someone would have told me not to worry about it. 
