  urlLink The Onion A.V. Club | Say Something Funny | March 24, 2004 : "I am always uncomfortable when men I do not know comment on physical attributes of women both of us do not know.
For example, just the other day, I was in an elevator with two strangers. One woman. One man. The woman arrived at her destination. Doors open. Doors shut, leaving me and the gentleman. He turns to me and says, 'Did you see those tits? Looks like she shoved a roll of paper towels up there. ' I was tempted to play along with it and say, 'More like a yoga mat. ' Or maybe add to the paper-towel reference with, 'Man I would like to dry off with her boobs. The Brawny guy wishes he had a chest like that, I bet. ' And then we would both high-five until he got off the elevator and went to work at whatever mutual-fund company he worked for. I assume that a guy like that is looking for a bonding moment between two men, so maybe it will lead to us exchanging business cards.
Or maybe that's the way the NRA started. I don't know. Instead, I just looked at my shoes and mumbled to myself so he could hear, 'Girls are pretty awesome. ' He glanced at me. No, he just plain stared at me. Then I said, 'You should see my mother's boobs. ' This confused him, and he got to his floor and exited the elevator. I thought about high-fiving myself, but instead just mumbled, 'Did you see that ass? ' Then I high-fived myself. " 
