  Up until now, I've loved the effects of peer pressure. Aidan's little friends at pre-school encouraged him to potty train immediately, to walk in line with his hands behind his back, to write letters, click on listening ears, and clean up joyfully. I've marveled at the magic structure through which his school encourages ten kids to do together what one could not alone.
But this past month, I've seen a wave of negative behaviors that I could really live without. They've included pointing a finger like a gun while saying "pew," telling his sister to shut up, spitting, declaring he doesn't like vegetables (we're virtually vegetarians! ), and most recently, pretending to smoke. That's right, yesterday I had to give my three-year-old the smoking talk. Cigarettes are yucky, they hurt you here (rub chest). Please don't pretend to hurt my Aidan. First, I had to explain to him that when he holds the long woodscrew from his sister's tool set, puts it in his mouth, takes it out, and blows, it's called smoking.
This explanation came after I mistook his pretence for scuba diving--we were watching Dr. Doolittle (the old musical). And he said it was the stick with fire at the end, not the hose you breath air out of. And of course, I asked him where he learned such a thing: school. But who at school acts like that, I asked. [name of one of the two boys who are the source of my troubles lately]. After talking to Aidan about not pretending to hurt himself (a variant on the lecture we gave him about not pretending to hurt other people after the finger-pew incident), I sent him on to play and told John I wanted to email that boy's mom right away and let her know that her son is teaching others to smoke.
Surely that family must smoke at home, at now their poor decisions are affecting others beside their children! John talked me down, as did my mom later on the phone when I told her about it all. But what am I left to do? Maybe I'll ask for a meeting with the school director. I spoke to Aidan's teacher last week and she said she'd keep an eye out for the bad behaviors and she always tells the kids "that's closed here" when they start them up. I know this is the first of many battles. I guess that's why I want to fight it so bad. I want to win, and get more wins under my belt, rather than be at the mercy of the lowest common denominator morals of my son's peers.
Even as I write that, I know it's unrealistic. I just have to get better at instilling the opposing morals at home with such a sense of conviction that he'll be more inclined to avoid bad behaviors. That's a long term approach. What do I do right now!?
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