  I remember the morning of February 1, 2003, when the space shuttle broke apart in the upper Earth atmosphere. I sat up in bed as John rushed in and turned on CNN. He said, "something's wrong with the space shuttle!
" Ellie still slept beside me, oblivious to the sadness and horror, nearly exactly over our heads. My mind filled with the thought: everything's changing . Granted, everything's always changing, but sometimes you can see it coming. As we continue to live through all the ripples of change from that day, that thought still echoes in my head. This morning I'm again captured by these words. There's this baby that's in need of a safe place.
The mom knows me, and I think she might trust us with the awesome obligation of watching over her little one. Nothing changes a world like a baby. In my life, I've never felt so great as when I hold a baby, gaze into his or her eyes, and bond. I have so many questions. Will it happen? The chances are so crazy slim, should I even be writing about it? Is this the wrong way for our friends and family to know what might or might not happen? Should I prepare? Well, I certainly learned through two children already that babies need very little preparation. We're made to do it in a forest. Still, I have all the equipment. How do you throw your entire being into loving a baby if part of your mind has to instruct you that the baby could leave at any minute? Maybe that's not such a hard question. After all, I throw my entire being into loving and nurturing Aidan and Ellie all the time, knowing only God knows how long I'll have them.
It's similar to our decision of whether to announce my pregnancy with Ellie after we miscarried Grace. We decided to announce early, because even if we lost this baby too, we'd want the whole world to know there was a baby in our lives and we'd lost a child. How else could they celebrate her brief life? We can't shield ourselves from pain at the expense of love. If there's even a day that I get to love another child, that day will be an immeasurable gift. If another child comes to our little family, even for a little bit, the whole world should know so they can celebrate her with us! 
