  so now my parents are watching it, coz they haven't seen it before. and it's sort of giving my little fantasies... not to be a blonde ditz or anything... about going overseas to do law... harvard... *dreamy look in eyes*... ok. i'm snapping out of it. there's NO way that i'm gonna get that... *sigh* but anyway, law. it would be... supposedly supposed to be boring yeah? i dunno... but now that i've convinced my parents that i don't have to do a science... i'm stuck with an empty 2 units. "LIPOSUCTION! " ok... i don't want THAT part of LB... *sigh* but i think this movie grows on you... coz it's doing that right now... *aahh* now the emmett bit would be nice! =) *sigh* he's so sweet. but then again, i wouldn't go to law school just coz i wanted to get my boyfriend back. *sigh* this is all getting a little weird... and then i would probably never win a case because i would probably never know that a gay guy would know fashion... but yeah.... "don't stomp you're last-season Prada shoes at me honey.
" and then i don't want the mentor feeling me up. awwwwwwww... emmett is sooo sweet. ok. i'm REALLY turning into jay. but he's really sweet. "What if you're trying to be someone you are? " ... "stay. " "if i'm going to be the partner of a law firm by the age of 30, i need someone who isn't a complete bonehead. " hehehehe.... *sigh* i just need to be good at public speaking... sorta.... =/ *shrug* i dunno.
it's weird to be thinking about this stuff so early, but life sorta just whizzes by and sometimes you arrive at a point in your life, a point that you've never really thought about before, and then you're stuck when you don't really know what decision to make. so... i've been thinking a lot about year 11 and 12... thinking about how scary it seems. it used to seem so far away, but it's not really, is it? then it makes you remember the old times, when you were little... and there were always people there... and they were there for you. you didn't have any complicated feelings... you always knew the right thing... you always knew exactly how you were feeling. ok. getting off topic here... and the walk suddenly becomes a lot rougher. when you're little, you just believe in everything. when you grow up a little, you try and really understand everything, but find that there isn't really all that much that you've got to understand to cement it, it's just a matter of whether or not you have the guts to do it.
but it's the finer points that seem to really stand out... but never actually stick. and then you get all sorts of weird emotions, love, hate, betrayal, jealousy, ignorance... and you just don't know what to do with them. hurt. this is getting very touchy feely... it started off as a har-di-har about LB... and now it's turned into my life story... interesting how i can carry on like this WITHOUT writing incredibly horrible poetry!
=) forgiveness... and asking for it. it's hard. but what's more important? your pride, or your friends? i would always have said friends, but when the time came, i really did, and i've gotta say that i always thought that i would pick pride when the time really came. you can always say stuff, but when the time comes, you just never know what you're going to do... so i'm sorry. i value you guys as friends. i would hate to lose you. no matter what i say, no matter how i act, just know that i count you as my friends.
i can be a real cow some days... ok. all days, but i'm trying to change. realising that i could lose friends over my cow-iness, is making me REALLY try. i say it all the time... but the two sides of me a going to become one, hopefully, and i hope it IS a better me. you don't read this, but i'm just putting it here anyway... in case you do happen to pass by one day.
=/ so when you watch movies, you should never write blog entries about them, because you will end up blabbing on about something that doesn't really relate to it at all.... =/ i'm up late again, but i think i will live another night with only a couple of hours sleep... =/ which is really bad for me... *yawn* zzzzzz...... 
