  That is MY bacon! Well, I was over at Carol & Amber's for dinner tonight... And at some point I was lying on the couch, using Carol as a pillow, and she poked me in the thigh, so I said "That's my ham", and then she poked me in the ribs, so I said "That's MY bacon", and Amber's head almost exploded, and she just splurted out "Not while I've got my back turned to you!".
Then Carol poked me in the ribs again, and I squealed "That's my pork chops! ", and we ended up rolling on the floor laughing for about five minutes, with phrases such as (from Amber) "And I ATE his pork chops!"... They made me leave the apartment before Amber got turned into a vegetarian. 
