  Well I thought it'd never end. Our on/off infatuation with each other. We were never in love were we? Just two lonesome people with lousy taste in the opposite sex and a desperate need to feel loved. But hell, it still hurts. Sure, in the one year and six months since we've broken up, in the two years since we've known each other, there'd be other girls you liked. Hell, the first time I met you, you were going after another girl. After we broke up, there were two others. But I never felt the finality even then, somehow I'd always knew.. somehow.. you'd ask me again.
But we never did work out to begin with. I doubt you ever did, with the other girls. You were never much of a ladies' man. You care too much about yourself. You still do. You're still as self-centered as you ever were from the first day I knew you. Still as selfish and ungentlemanly and still ignorant. Still living in your own dream world. Hah.
I don't know. Its time to let go. I have to tell myself this every day. Let the fucking hell go of you. There'd be someone else for me. Someone who deserves me. Someone who will treat me the way I deserve to be treated.... I'd always know that someone isn't you, but that never stopped me from yearning after you cause when you're fifteen, the choices come across as reasonably limited. Especially when most of my choices are females whom I feel are not ready to even think about getting into a relationship.
And I'm not a guy. I can't keep playing the role of a guy in BOTH female and male relationships. Its stupid. I want to be treated like a girl. I want to let myself behave like one. Whatever. Haha. That someday will come. It just isn't time for me to be me yet. 
