  i just wanted 2 say that i Love u very very much, Katy. thank u 4 everything 2night (or, rather, this morning) u have no idea what it means 2 me. i'm sorry if i was being a bitch but i really think my whole entire world is falling apart right now. & nothing is gonna change my mind if this is over - i am not having a baby on my own. besides, u don't want me pregnant 4 the wedding, do u?
let us just thank Heaven & the powers that be if this is over that it is over now & not in two months. my dad is here now so i'm relatively safe from myself & have stopped destroying the house. all i wrecked completely was an end table that was falling apart anyway, half a kitchen chair & knocked a buncha keyes off the keyboard, which i should be able 2 fix if i can find them all. all in all, a very mild psychotic episode. i'm guessing the stupid fuck is either passed out drunk somewhere or in jail as he didnt respond 2 the threat of me killing his fish.
doesn't make this any easier, & i guess i owe it 2 a third party (the baby) 2 find out what the fuck really happened. if it werent 4 that i'd like 2 think i'd be gone but i cannot feasibly belive that he would just up & do something like this intentionally 2 hurt me. of course, i've been wrong hundreds of times b4, but if i'm right, it's worth staying & trying 2 figure this all out.
it really is. i cannot 4get that the last thing he said 2 me was 'I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH'. i'm so tired & confused & lost & mentally unstable & shaky & nauseous & about a trillion other negative things but 4 some reason i still have hope way deep down inside & that hope seems 2 be manifesting it's self out of intuition & a woman's intuition is more valid than any other - escpecially when it comes 2 her man... so i stay & wait... & wait... & wait... & try not 2 cry. {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{katy}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} 
