  Reminiscence of Happiness, then Brought Back to Reality. Well today wasn't all that great of a day. I know, we got out of school early and I could be in English right now, but I don't care. I am grateful to be out but it's not like my day has been deemed the most wonderful day of the year or anything.
No today is bad because of two things. 1. I don't have any good films to view and I can not go see Lost in Translation because a woman takes off her clothes in it. (My mom is okay with rated R violence but even little sex jokes are unforgivable. Granted this is somewhat worse, but I have seen boobs before, it's not like they are foreign to me. ) 2. My flower has died. That picture is a picture of this flower that I found in my yard the other day. It stood out so much among the dead/somewhat living grass that was swarming it's distinctive colors so I took a picture of it. I thought it was so amazing that in the cold, drizzly January this little flower found life and brought warmth to the area.
This will sound extremely corny, but when I look at this picture I can actually feel spring, I can see the trees warm and vibrant and my dog chasing rabbits in our backyard. So I came to really liking this flower, and as I saw the large snow flakes fall outside my third period science class I thought about this little flower. I arrived home and found it dead, rinkled and shriveled into a blackened yellow spot among the frozen white and dead green.
So that was my day, and plus the classes I did manage to go to, gave homework. Ah well, at least I've got......... I don't even know. Something else that I have felt since the end of school yesterday: I want to be free, I'm already sick of high school and I have 3 more years ahead. I want to get a job right out of high school that will involve my talents and my abilities, go to night classes at Watkins and actually have three hours in my day where I can sit at a desk and think of what to write, or draw, or photograph next. I want those three hours to be silent, no sound of parents listening to everything I do, asking what I'm doing, asking if I have finished my homework, no sound of the television blasting because my dad is in hearing impaired denial, no sound of a nasty baked chicken and white rice with green beans dinner cooking, Nothing .
I want to be able to sit down and just sit there without having to worry about this homework that makes no sense to me whatsoever, I want to be able to go out and take pictures without a time limit, I don't want to be confined to an office cubicle and have to type meaningless crap into a computer for $5.50 an hour. Does anyone have a thought or advice that I can use? 
