  I was up all night, and in my half-sleep I started thinking about giving up. Is there a difference between quitting (being a quitter) and just conceding that there are some things I am not cut out to do well? I like to win, I like to be the best, and I like to seem in control. I also really like cookies with chocolate chips and pecans. I don't like to make decisions for myself, I don't like failing, and I don't like being underappreciated. And I really don't like being laughed at. I enjoy quilts and crisp sheets. I don't like bath gels that smell like fruit -- I hope I don't get any for Christmas. Mmm, the smell of buttermilk. But not to wear. I don't want to smell like food. I've spent too much time working in restaurants.
I hate listening to cars drive on wet streets. I saw somebody I knew from a while ago walking down the Parkway, but I couldn't remember her name in time to say hello. I actually didn't recognize her until I thought about it later, and I'm glad I didn't say hi to her because I'm pretty sure we were on bad terms when we knew each other. I think. I've been watching too many television specials about Britney Spears. But they are fascinating, she's a card. Actually they make me feel good about myself. I would like to be a performer, but only for one day. Okay, two or three (weeks?). The world should perhaps be glad I'm talent-less. Oh, I got something I wanted just by asking, and I didn't even have to explain myself.
I can't decide whether this is a good thing, because I'm now afraid that he'll change his mind once he realizes why I expected him to say no. No need to worry about that just yet, I suppose. 
