  To Mel: Thanks for the salute: strangely I am the most… dirty and wretched of the people i know(except for some people i know who i completely dispise and live to ruin other people: yeah and that person knows my blog whoop de do!)!?!
Anyway, I know you have something coming it terms of a passionate relationship. As your brother and assuming how we both can reach such a high gaming, fighting and storytelling: I can gander that we both would (love) at the same extreme. It’s a good and a bad thing: good is that sex was 10x better when I remember it than when I do it now.
The bad thing is that we fall faster and harder. Remember how bitter and cynical I was… its not that I don’t want you to experience that but the cool thing about me being the man in charge is that you can crash and burn and have a me and the guys around to fix the rig. Do you remember how I always struggled and asked for so much advice on my problem. I end up having these long discussions with Pat, Henry, and Trish about relationships.
Struggling to mentally keep afloat that the world isn’t a shit hole when someone has the power to crush the life out of you with a stare. The feeling in a break up when the girl keeps up all appearance that everything is fine while your in constant torment and depression… its like you were just a footnote.
She says that its her fault and it doesn’t make anything feel better. Rage swells and erupts unexpectedly and you feel like saying things so hurtful which aren’t true : “like I never really loved you or I just used you for the sex.” Man you will feel that and more… things get complicated especially when you see each other unexpectedly… It’s a good thing your finishing community college.
Take a break, get a job and help me and jas pay the bills :P get a GF or a fling and see how fun it can be and how bad it can be before you go to a university… AND LASTLY Like me, after a while you will find your groove and priorities remember that amongst the brothers you may be the only one carrying the name to a new generation. ON OTHER THINGS Going to mom’s office to print out my drawing studies… they look weird. It’s a bunch of pictures of me in various poses and laid out with other pictures of me to form a group picture. They are great for understanding structure proportion and distance but it looks weird when people see me print out pictures of me trying to look cool. 
