  Saw Tomz in MTV and that other girl in my class. I see a lot of people from CSB lately on mtv… I guess cause it is the forefront of Multimedia… where else would people whose talents are such play… I mean work.
Tomz is the girl who talks about being or living in the world as a fulfilled woman (or something… I wasn’t listening I was trying to see through the video static they put to make it look gritty) Played soccer today with Camille and Ichiro. I was the only one from my gang but since the three of us were school mates we got along the best. Camille’s friends: nikki, april and jenny came to play with us. We played three on three: Me, Nikki and Jenny and there were Ichiro, Camille and April.
Unfortunately I scored 3 of the goals… on a end score 3-3. what made it bad was I was the proficient player and I should have given them the opportunity to score. Art update yes I'm drawing again but i tripping on ideas... I need a ton of them... i need a ton of art at my disposal (fantasy idealy)... hope to use all these new drawings for my portfolio Drew my GURPS family... I'll show you guys when i'm done... jasper has reall bad ass armor its just that... (again) i'm running out of ideas and fuel... WHAT can I eat that would get my brain juices running sugar but not sugar? A CUP OF DARK ITALIAN CHOCOLATE!!! or Bicolano Bitter Hot chocolate!!! BUT I CANNOT FIND ANY NICE BITTER ONES... ALL OF THE BRANDS ARE TOO SWEET!!!
(thus made of more sugar than cocoa) Rambling ( I should be drunk but I have no money for sweet wine) Ok there was some attraction between me and Nikki, its just that I seem to be unable to do anything given that… well… I’m leaving. I’m leaving on the 26th of may (it was rescheduled again). I can have a maybe a short whirlwind… something.
Not a fling and not a romance… its what it can possibly be… anything. And yes this is about the amount of forethought a typical guy would put If he were to draw a line… so that I do not expect to much and make anyone expect as much either. I wanna go out, have fun, and maybe… go crazy with my emotions. I don’t want to hurt anyone or lead them on to something serious. I guess I’m looking for sweet nothings… small tokens of nothings to write about and keep it as a seed for my fantasies.
Thoughts to cradle me in. Sometimes I drift to my early memories concerning Ayala Alabang. Coming from (old) San Juan (where it was dirtier and has very little scenery- if any) you can say that it was heaven on earth. All the houses were big, clean, and opulent. It was my dream of living in a pretty neighborhood. Unlike mine, where our drunk security guard killed someone who teased him, or a drug addict climbed our FEN antenna attracting the police, or the dirty and smoky from the jeepney that line up along our road.
Or sometimes… being in a fantasy paradise with my close friends. Running through the woods, fighting and using our talents to overcome the odds. Friends and comrades in arms all in one place in a life which is much simpler than this. I wish I can GM for a living… something I tend to do with more addiction and fervor than anything else a I do. Preparing for games, making maps, cut outs, stories, character art… I wish the gaming industry has space for me.
Thoughts to cradle me in.
Before the sandman pulls me in the land between living and the dead. 
