  Finding Ms. Right when you’re leaving I feel quiet. I feel so many things in the same time. Friends of old have wished me good bye, have helped me pack and ready, and treated me out.
I have to go and there is so much waiting for me. Yet like every good story there is a twist, a little hook that makes things unravel and makes you understand more about why people believe in a god, or how come goodness triumphs over evil.
It’s such a perfect and clear irony that I’m leaving and I found someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. Don’t get me wrong, me and her have known each other for about nine months already. Honesty has made us move towards each other slowly which forged stronger bonds than rushing things with half meant confusions. Honesty had a hint of danger since we both knew that the end was near and we wanted to put all the cards on the table.
Yet we found more things about each other that brought feelings to an unexpected simmer. I’m meeting arj tonight and I will be working on the statue for the rest of the evening to clear my mind. I didn’t play soccer or go to Benj’s game… both I would really like to do but I had a strong wish to be alone in my own little way. I am nothing yet. A blank slate, it is something to be insecure or be frightened about. I wasn’t able to finish college because of my green card requirements.
I left college for a one time opportunity to become an American citizen… I never thought I would have this in my life. I wanted to be an American when I was a kid but it wasn’t a real dream, more of a fancy, the way I would fancy to be rich and laid pretty often.
Its not really a want but a convenience that isn’t really what I need in my life. Mel suggested the army… I could speed things up joining the army and I would be more accepted having worked for the stars and stripes like any red blooded American… I wish that offer came when I was at the peak of my health back at high school graduation. I would have jump at the offer given that I was going to BS Math in La Salle… something that was not very pleasant for me. I would have loved the army training the way I loved the ranger training back at UP. And it would have been better, cause I had to make a balancing act Visual Arts while being a ranger.
I couldn’t keep up and I hated not being the best in the class. My only avenue left is art for games or art for comics. Which ever comes my way. I stopped drawing for a while: no scanner… no one to show my drawings to… no point to draw something no one will see.
I draw to express, if that voice is mute then what is there to hear. All the while it comes back to earning a degree of responsibly and a level of maturity. I can’t stay and get a job in my parent’s company. I can’t do slave labor here, given what I know I can achieve… and that I plan to settle down. So I really have to go. What keeps me here is the best reason for me to go and make something of my self there. Dad has been giving good advice: “If you come back and 'it' is still there then it’s fated” 
