  Problems… The computer hanging is a problem… I spend 3 hours a day trying to fix it and wasting time when it hangs. I don’t know what to do. This never happened before and I have been putting Microsoft updates so that it would stop hanging.
Music Candy just dragged me to the TV just to check out a song she found familiar. It was Beverly craven singing “Promise Me”. Strange being that I listened to all her songs and appreciate her mild jazzy style that focus on melody and a sad sad tone. Work I started making lists with this new memo pad a bought. “Things I can finish today” It is a realistic assessment of what I can do in the span of a day towards the goals I am trying to achieve.
It also allows me to measure if I should indulge in my extra-curricular activities of sports at the cost of effort. I realized that being an artist I work on inspiration. Games that are good give me drive… of course like all things you need a bigger hit the next dose. I noticed I’ve been trying to game more just to get that high. I need it, there is nothing I can do without a good game.
So inspiration can be quantified into a numerical pool of effort. Every time I do something it expends time and effort. If I want to get this project done… I must find enough sources of fun to kick me into gear and make it come out in my work. Computer crashing as often as 10 times a day hinders that… I mean it by ten times a day. When I install a patch from windows it hangs… like it is stopping me from fixing the problems.
It is annoying. GAMES Right now I’m playing a L5R Edo campaign set in the Tokugawa Period. I have to admit I wish my colleagues in gaming new how cool it would be to set one in our own Philippines history if they knew it as well as I did. Gino is right… given my research and art… and his publication/business canny and writing we can put together a graphic novel about 1865… 300 years under the heel of the Principalia and the Tyrants. I hate the fact that no one else ever thought of researching for the cool stuff. They always had to “MARKET” the Philippines… THEY NEVER KNEW THAT THE ACTIONS OF THEIR OWN ANCESTORS WERE THAT TO BE PROUD ABOUT.
In contrast of their situation… all our “real” heroes were great because it was never luck that made them who they were… they challenged the status quo and were killed by traitors… those who they also fought for… Like the Christian virtue of loving ones enemies. SPEAKING OF CHRISTIANITY What is mercy and what is justice. GOD IS ALL JUSTICE AND ALL MERCY!!! We had a conversation which started concerning Gino’s preferred school. It was between UP and CSB for an art course (FINE ARTS and MMA). I cited UP because in my experience in up you meet a greater range of people in UP… Terrible to saints.
While in CSB and La Salle you meet a smaller spectrum with very little extremes. I wanted UP simply because of the nice people who took me in despite my conjo English and naivite… there were people using me there and people who cared enough for me to watch my back even when I just considered them acquaintaces. In UP I found the extremes of the two spectrums.. and thought JA’s condition would best benefit from someone taking him under their wing.
BUT Csb had less of the extremes and was a safer choice. One thing Tipped the scales… The Teachers… UP had the same case for their Teachers… A woman… an old bitter hag failed my classmates (not me cause I got wise from her after learning from older batches of her unmerciful bias) despite the fact they went extra effort and spend double the number of hours in make up class just to pass!!! I hate her… she would spend the starting hours of the class saying how talentless we are and how anybody can draw or sculpt!!! I know the reasons why she was like that… she was a failed artist. You can tell by her bragging of who she knew and the obvious effort she put in trying ton be as good as they were by saying she knew art… but alas… there was no justice.
I swear… I hate teachers like those… they give my teacher and professor friends a bad name. Then came the idea of mercy… I know my brother tries hard in school but fails to wake up on time and just has a bad day. That happens to a lot of people going through teenhood. I myself went through that phase… now I’m on time, never slack off (yeah right) and I consider myself responsible.
Being youthfull is not something to be taken at fault. Being young and spending the night playing or carousing isn’t something bad… or worse a SIN!!! It is a learning process, these are the times we learn that we are not invulnerable and that we have limits we must learn to negotiate. A teacher of college knows this… that’s why I glad that a friend of mine has his hands in the youth’s pulse… knowing that some people just need a break.
I’d rather be a lax teacher… but when it comes to grades… but when it comes to the students lives… I would like to ease the pain or help in the transition into adult hood. It is far from me to judge the youth and fail her or him unless I know it would benefit her. Failure as a grade is not a punishment but a necessary action when I would think that taking this class would be a mistake for the youth… If someone is better of pursuing their interest and passing him or her here would just add dirt on the grave. Teaching is complicated and I wouldn’t want to sound like someone who is trying to be an expert.
I know experts… and that old hag is not one of them. I would be able to teach a class.. I’m not kidding when I say this… I can teach a class better English than her!!
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