  I wish i could sleep!!! Ok I slept at 12 and woke up at 3… that’s bad. Yesterday I slept at 6 woke up at 10… that’s two days of not dreaming… THAT’S VERY BAD. I guess that’s my kryptonite, if I can’t dream then what the fuck can I do with my self. I can’t draw if I can’t dream… there is no special something stirring inside me to find its way into paper. Oh heck… I’ll take another half glass of cheep vodka… that’s the only thing that puts me to rest. There is some buko pie in the fridge ( I like buko pie) so that’s my breakfast. I can sense a part of me that wants to sleep, but reality kills my fantasies.
I’m tired cradling my thoughts with lies before I sleep… its gets old fast and I can’t keep lying without some kind of hope to keep it up. I watched the Knockaround guys… It’s a good movie. I realized that fathers should take it easy with their sons. I also notice that fathers who pay more attention (no shortcuts… the hardway) and are easy on their son (when they are trying) is a good guideline. Its not fullproof but I have a better idea now. Reality depresses me. I mean staying awake and not having an orginal, inspiring idea in my head tares the soul out of me.
I’m planning to make a web comic as I promised pat. I just don’t know what layout to put. I plan it to be a website where job can post his ideas, rules, art and setting; while I try to make ends meet. I want to work creatively even if I might be cleaning toilets for a living. Thankfully being Filipino I am more exposed to disease and I can get down and dirty with less worry.
My cousin told me about his wifes weaker auto immune system… she can’t even eat mayo that has been out of the fridge for a day. While back here that’s type of sandwich made for company picnics prepared a whole day before. Chat Well thanks for the advice. I’ll try to use it if this other method I’m using sucks. Method to my madness, being the term. Mel Alsion Lohman is 5’2” ya know, too bad shes older than you. Hey I even heard the girl in devil’s panties is around 5’ so I guess you’ll meet ms.
Right no matter how tall she is. Honestly, I like big girls to… even girls taller than me… its just that most of the girls who are that tall aren’t my type Pat Hey I found THAT SONG by ROBERT PALMER ( I also got alot of his songs now) "know by now". I heard it oncein my car at 1999 and never heard it again. My Type?!? When people say “not my type” what do they mean. Most of the time people mean “not pretty enough” –some guys say. Well… I never put appearance as an issue (look at my track record he he he). I mean I know you can only get a someone equal to your charm or appearance. The degree you fall below the standard is how little effort you need.
If I were to have a type… I guess it would be someone who would Not run my confidence to the ground (like #1) or be more mature and listen to me… not spacing out into her phone when I’m saying something important (like #2) and… who isn’t into to me at all. Ha got ya there… I realized its when a woman is not interested do I get interested. STUPID yes… but not entirely my fault. I guess it has all to do with timing. I realized from my past most recent mistakes is that I’d rather go for a girl who did not like me so that if things don’t work out (as I got to know her) easy out. I mean if she is just giving me an interview and thinking the longterm about me instead of liking me immediately (like in the US “finding him cute”) that’s easier to fix. Once you have committed to a feeling it’s hard to see things objectively. I learned that liking a girl and letting it hang out is bad (no shit Sherlock! )… in the way it ruins what could be friendship. Its that “ilang” feeling women get as they are more cautious and guarded about what the guys motives are. Whoah!!! To complicated there… I’ve been a safe date always and as a sign of trust did a ton of other things to show it as well.
People can roll their sense motives and see the truth and character like it was glass. Heck, I’m no JV or those other guys like him in Opus Dei. Let me take a moment to wonder where this came from. Oh yeah… my type. I guess bottom line is my type are the girls who aren’t interested and I’m not interested. If I can be a good friend to a girl without any ulterior motives then I guess she would be my type. But the conflict of that is a good thing. I guess joy started thinking of me as her type when I walked into a conversation with her and wango.
They were saying if they end up alone and at 30+ they needed someone to marry them. I said How about me, I’m sure wanggo would not have any problem (I didn’t know he was gay at that time). SO it was kind of an agreement then that who ever two people (being at opposite gender) were left they would marry as company. … I think it was at that time did things start getting bumpy. It has been four years and I still can’t believe It happened to an introverted geek like me. And by the way it all began simply because I wanted to help and make friends. 
