  Ok its the day before christmass... dreamlessness (and not having word to repair any misspelings and gramar problems i would fail to correct) Its either i write a long boring entry of spice things ups with something short... or maybe both.
SHORT AND SPICY I'm happy... and its been a long time since i could say that. LONG AND BORING I'm in america, i'll be leaving but will be comming back in less than six months. Its a brand new start, a whole new place and an entirely new life. Its one of the roughest places in america to live in... New Jersey. The place in america where they will sue your ass of for the slightest fault more often than anywhere else.
"Ye throw the first stone..." is what i want to say to the people who are going to give me a hard time because of that. There are trees here, woods for me to explore and meditate in. There is fresh are and places my imagination to run wild. Life here is different from back home, but better for me. Looking back, I have a better chance of meeting someone special here.
Dispite the range of people here, at least there is a better number of them that would give me a chance. I guess I can kick my oath when i move here, cause if there is any other time to live my life, it would be here in america. Here an artist like me won't starve, Here I can build myself from scratch. I can pick up where i could not in the philippines and make a life so much better than i had before.
Here every opportunity is all for the taking... all you need is to be able to work hard. I guess I'll be working really hard as well. I may not get a kick ass job... but I will certainly have one which i can hold with more dignity than back home. There is enough tries out here for me to get lucky and get the job i always wanted. I dont cost much to maintain... and all my money will be saved and used to help my ailing tito and tita.
I will be together with my brothers and sister. Although at the cost of all the friends I'm leaving behinde, fate has conspired it to be easier on me since they are off to greener pastures. The guys from CSB all got good jobs and are getting better. The barkada all have good things instore for them as Buster gets his higher paying job in a cleaner environment... heck he gets to stay with his parents... i guess that would be cheaper in terms of rent.
I bet he might even oneday buy a car... since the traffic there is not as congested. Kezo is finishing up his masters... He might go here one day and try to have a shot at citizenship... I know I would welcome him to our place to stay for the time he would be... and welcome his little woman if she could come along. Thomas will be studying in either London or Austraila... And RJ would be dving deeper into his studdies. There is not much people i will be leaving behind... its just that they are all leaving at the same time.
Its a strange twist of fate or maybe a kind of destiny how all things have changed for me. A part of my life is ending as a new one begins. DREAMLESSNESS I have no dreams here. How can i, when being here is living my greatest dream of all. A new life with opportunities. I'm not a 24 year old late graduate here, by their standards i graduated in time. I'm not lusty anymore, actually seeing what i've missed out back at home just makes me build up what i can here. What I failed to be for the philippines is what chance i have to be in America. I can finaly master my swordsmanship, my art, my professional abilites and my life. Its hard to stay sleep when i know i can be earning at least $20 an hour as a graphics guy or that overtime pays me 50% to 100% more.
That the hours I work also builds up my value and if that fails... i can use my other skills. A place all my talents can be realized.... it feels like a maxed out a character and placed him in an environment he will excell rapidly. I can't wait... I can't dream... cause this is all to much like a dream... 
