  Ok… Alcohol I haven’t drunk so much alcohol in my life since this past week. Its kind a hard to think positively about yourself … well myself in particular because of what has been happening. Nothing makes feel so down when I’m time pressured to come up with art. I guess working for multi-media is not my strong suit. Its ok anyway, in America I can get any job… desk or otherwise and still be ok. Even at what may be 800 dollars a week or 5 dollars an hour I can still be pretty happy with what I do. I don’t want to sound like I have no ambition. I can pull cool things off, but not for other people… especially people I don’t care about. I noticed that the best work of art I have ever made given my skill was for someone else mere pleasure. I just can’t wait to go there… even if it means failing here. I’m burned out. I was working the whole of Christmas vacation.
I’m working still today. Before that I was working 340 hours on a job while I balanced a12 units worth of school. I haven’t gamed as much as I want to. In fact I’m suffering game withdrawal so bad, that making characters is what I do just to stave of the pangs. I want to run a game… or play one with a rule savvy GM. I’m the type to play under Charles if I had the time, Cyril or any of Jobert’s group given their rules ability.
I’d play under Rick if he was using 3.5. Steven, the guy in the states did not make much for an interesting game. He doesn’t know that a captive audience is someone you should try to move ranging different emotions and feelings. (that was not a creative way of putting it) Oh well I hope the internet at home gets fixed soon so I can do my work there. Oh yeah I think i failed my defense... I just hope to get another try when i fix everything up again. 
