  ( Tiny Voices- Boxcarracer) Mood:okay until I actually start thinking Hey, my dad has been the biggest ass hole all week. Actually more like my whole life but thats a different story. So Wed. night I'm watching the O.C. and then at ten I decide to go to sleep. So I lay down but then I hear this little tap tap noise and I ignored it at first but I finally got fed up and went down stairs to tell my dad to stop playing the fricken drums so I could actually sleep and he starts flipping out on me, saying "I'm selling those fucking drums you never play them, there a waist of money! " I'm like "you don't need to sell them, just don't play them at 10:00 when we're trying to sleep! " and he is like furious at me just because I wanna fucking sleep and that inturupted his shitty "play" time. So then last night he was talking to my mom and I guess he called me something like a bitch or somthing like that. Then my mom tells me he said somthing bad about me and she wanted me to ask him what it was so I did but then he refused to tell me and started telling me why he was so mad at me. I didn't wanna fucking hear it so (by the way he always talks about his balls only before he notices that I'm in the room and then he gets all embarrassed.
Duh like I dont' fucking know what balls are retard! anyway.....) I said "Listen if you don't have the BALLS, as you commonly refer to it, to call me this name to my face than you shouldn't be saying it at all! " Then his idea of solving the issue is sending me to my room. whatever. And I never found out that name either.
As much as it hurts to say, but I'm not sure if my life would be totally over if he wasn't even here. I know it's bad, and somday I will regret saying that but he's not a good father. No one here is good. Mabey I'm being picky, but no one cares about me. Like with Dacia I try talking to her and mid sentence she stops listening and just starts flirting with some guy.
I mean dealing with that bull shit everyday for 8 years get pretty old. Actually I don't even know why I'm friends with her. I have listened to everything she has to say, and even if another person is trying to get my attention and talk to me I tell them to hold on and put her first. This isn't right, I don't deserve this shit. Today I felt so emotionally worn out, I just wanted to die.
Honestly, I know it kinda sounds like a drama queen thing but I wanted it all to be done and over. I think the only thing keeping me going is knowing that eventually I will get my chance to leave. Senior year I'm going to California and I don't know if I will come back. This was so long, really good venting time though, by 
