  Comstocks, there is no possible way that you could appreciate either Levi or ChewBaccalaureates enough.
For tonight was the night when two became one. No, wait that's not at all what happened. It was like Jed and Josh in "We Killed Yamamoto" or Jeremy and Natalie in "And the Crowd Goes Wild". For tonight, the continuing conflicts within the CPC Youth Group came to a head. I'm going to recap this for the Comstocks and Paul, because they have every right to know.
Tonight, Patty had us play the Hide and Go Seek game, with one of the younger girls as "it. " She proceeded to hide in the bi-partisan bathroom (Okay, it's uni-sex, whatev. ) So we looked and eventually everyone was gone, and decided that they were in the bathroom. So we tried to get in, but the entire youth group was inside that bathroom, and ended up deciding to keep us locked out. Eventually, I said "Screw It. " and we went back to the room-thingy. I warmed up a pizza and munched on it while we waited for them to come back.
I made the "I find you loathesome and my hatred of you knows no bounds joke" when they did. So they decide to do round 2, and Thomas volunteers to hide, in what is the only other hiding space in the entire church, the darkened Choir Closet/Room/Thing. So we're not exactly thrilled with playing it again, especially as they didn't really seem to want us to play it. So we sat and talked for a while, and Patty came out and asked why we weren't playing, and I said, "Wasn't fun the first time, won't be the second.
" which was pretty much one of my "call it as I see it moments", but it was patronizing and Marten chastised me for it. He was right, as usual. Eventually the collective group figured out that was only one other hiding spot in the entire church, so they found Thomas, and paraded back to the room-thingy. Thomas came and sat down with us, and we talked for a couple of minutes before worship. Then Patty came.
She wasn't happy with us sitting out of the game, because it's a youth group and it's supposed to be one and not two groups and that the fact that we sat out sent the message that we were better than everyone else or something else "that [she] could not begin to fathom". So we went back to the room-thingy and we sat through the stiffest Worship session ever, and then Patty decided to "clear the air" which basically was yet another passive-aggressive attack on Erin, Marten and I not playing Hide and Go Seek.
By then it was 7:30 and we all left. I'm not going to editorialize. I'm just going to say two things. 1. ) There's something wrong with a Youth Group expects High Schoolers to play Tag and Hide and Go Seek, week after week after week and also enjoy it. 2. ) It's a two group Youth Group. The High Schoolers are going to segregate as their own group and The Girls segregate as their own group and with an age range as broad as the one at this group, it cannot be reasonably expected to function as one single group all the time. I'm probably hypocritical in saying this, but the Youth Group isn't working. Considering that I just joined the group two months ago, I'm not a expert on the dynamics and structure of a Church Youth Group.
But sometimes an outsider is able to see things that others miss. It's the whole principle behind editing. I'm not going to be able to change policy, that'll (probably) be Jonah and Thomas's jobs. But we need change, and we need it soon. For this youth group will unite or it will fall. The ultimate starship is Alfre Woodard's forehead. 
