  The first day of pain is here. I don't know how to cope with this. I can't go ten minutes without blubbering wildly. I'll spare you all the details and just say that I have no fucking clue how to make this work out, nor do I own the oomph it takes to do it.
For the moment I am feeling fatalistic and morbidly depressed. If I have any friends out there who aren't sick of my bullshit melodrama, now would be a great time to step into the light. I'm grasping here, folks. Life is not good. I really wish someone were around to take care of me.
I need to be taken care of right now. If I weren't such a lousy person, perhaps I'd have a plethera of options in that field. I did this shit to myself. The world is not going to become a better place. I'm so deep in the darkness that I was listening to "My Immortal" and staged in my head as a song sung to myself. Fuck fuck fuck. I am one stressed out lady. S. O. S. 
