  Ah, the joys of text messages. Me: What time’s SF tomorrow? Fancy pub to watch Wragg: Dunno.
At hospital at moment. Pops has suspected meningitis. Turns out, it’s not meningitis; it’s something a bit weirder and unknown. She seemed to be getting better, if no a little drugged up yesterday, but she’ll be home today hopefully. = And on to the semi-final. That’s two games in two weeks between these teams which started off well and then became dull kicking matches. God knows how Scholes stayed on the pitch with his attempt to remove Reyes foot from his leg. Anyway, it’s a true football master class tonight, with Leeds v Leicester.
That’ll be good. = Kind of pissed off because on Friday, I bought the 2 disc version of Spirited Away and it’s fucked. The film plays and it is watchable, but at the changeover of the chapters seems to have been misaligned, meaning that the as the chapter changes, it jumps back about a second and you have a very jerky repeat of a couple of frames.
I’ve tried two discs of it now, so it must be a general fault with all copies. Looks like a refund and waiting for the fixed copies to come out. It’s a real shame, because it’s such a good film (though the TFMrs. wasn’t so impressed. Probably Disney-rot of the brain, so films that don’t involve orphaned animals finding their place in the world just confuse her). = Just when I thought my top secret project had petered out… …GUESS WHO’S GOT AN INTERVIEW AT LEEDS UNIVERSITY NEXT WEEK!
COME ON! So, I’ve spent £30 on GCSE/AS/A2 revision books in order to make sure my knowledge of the subjects is at the correct level (I haven’t studied Biology for 9 years, and I may have to teach it up to GCSE level). = On a final note, how good is it to finally have a credible story of David Beckham fucking around? And while people go on about his good character and clear love for her, can I remind people of the seemingly forgotten story of him dumping her for a stripper while she was pregnant with Brooklyn?
In case you wanted to know just what a footballer would talk to his PA about, here ya go... B: When you start your job? RL: Sign contract next week. Can't stop smiling jumping around. DB: Happy for you. If you have any jumping around to do come here. RL: Where? DB: At the hotel? RL: Which? DB: Same one as last time - but a lot of Press today might not be a good idea.
Maybe next time. RL: OK will stop jumping and save it for when I see you and just keep smiling till then. DB: OK you need to save all that energy for ****. RL: Is it ****? DB: Very, very ****, thinking of your **** and the *****. RL: Remember the last time your tongue was all over me I have never **** so hard. DB: Now I am doing something, thinking about your ****.
RL: ******* your ****, feeling you **** deep down my ******. DB: Can't wait for that. When can we do this and where? RL: It's difficult. You know best. Me always free. DB: OK, we have to try. The day before Real Madrid's 4-2 league defeat by Athletic Bilbao. Beckham instigates texting. RL: U made me so horny the other day had nightmare trying to focus. U playing tonight? DB: Playing tonight and playing now which is good for me. Glad I can still do that to you.
RL: That and so much more. When am I going to feel u? DB: Where do you want to feel me most? RL: Your tongue ** **** ** ***** ****** then softly on my **** **** *** **** **** mouth and you choose from there. DB: OK, that's what will happen then. What u doing now? RL: Playing with my nipples, waiting for more, enjoying every second. DB: Shame I can't hear and see that. Would be nice to join in. RL: U can join in any time u want and way u want. DB: Where are u, in your bedroom? RL: Yes am home alone. DB: Can just imagine how *** *** **** u are.
RL: U should see me, naked with only white cotton G-string. DB: Love the sound of that cotton just *** *** *** ***** getting more *** and your *** all nice *** ***. RL: Call me then and you'll hear the real sound. (Beckham calls Rebecca but hangs up after laughing down the phone) RL: Did u hang up or was that me? Was just about to get started! DB: Someone just came in my room. S*** I was looking forward to that.
Have u any of my stuff that u need bring round to me? RL: What sort of stuff, Why, u at hotel? What do u need? I haven't **** yet, u bastard. DB: Any stuff u need to bring to the house one night. I am away right now. Just lay back and think of what I done to you and *** ***. RL: Sorry for delay but just **** so **** and ****.
Am sure I can find something to give u. R u still same house? DB: Yes. And I'm sure u have something to give me and am sure it tastes good. RL: Well just think about it and when safe etc let me know...just u me in the dark alone... well candlelit dark. DB: Not a problem, we will have fun. RL: It was nice to hear u laugh. When I see u I want to hear u groan and moan.
I can't wait. DB: Don't worry, you will and I want to hear u scream. Okay, here we go, a bit of engineering for anyone who can fill in these gaps with words unsuitable for publication but make sense DB: OK you need to save all that energy for ****.
RL: Is it ****?
DB: Very, very **** = No Photoshoppping this weekend, I’m afraid. I’ve been too busy scratching my arse. Although, I did end up around at my parents helping Dad fix the car (MOT test due this week), went inside to flick on Sky and found The Wresting Channel!
While I was there, I managed to see independent US wrestling (Ring of Honor), modern UK wrestling (FWA, which was awesome. Great matches and a commentator with the catchphrase “Bloody hell!”), 80s UK wrestling (KENDO NAGASAKI, BITCH! ) and Irish wrestling! The greatest TV channel. Ever. = EDIT: Well, I may not have done any this weekend, but here's this morning's efforts. 
