  These are like my pre-New Year Resolutions. I am making them now as I can feel myself falling into The Rut again. So here are my plans - Get Fit, Again This has slipped in the past few months. However, due to having 2 weeks off over Chrimbo, I will be making a concerted effort to visit the gym and get myself looking good for 2004. Put My Top Secret Project Into Action I have a January visit lined up for a secondary school in Dewsbury. This should tell me whether or not I want a year of poverty, and probably bar work, to get out of my dead end job. I have asked Hannah about was all us hip, groovy educators wear in school, so I won't look like a complete tool. Write A Screenplay Okay. This is semi-serious. I accept that the chances of me writing a screenplay that would start a bidding war between Scorcese, Jackson, Speilberg and Burton (The Wachowski's can go fuck themselves. They probably would as well, the sick freaks). However, I have got an idea for a story in my head, and I think it would be good to get it down if only to amuse me and about 5 other people. I will give a co-writers credit to whoever can give me a title. The general idea for the story, at the minute, is like a mixture between the Exorcist, Ghostbusters and Clerks.
So, at the moment, these are my plans for the next few months. I'll keep you posted on how it's all going. At the time, I would like you to spare a thought for Ms. Zora Suleman. Zora is, of course, the newsreader of RI:SE, the C4 breakfast show which will be axed in the New Year. Zora has a unique version of presenting the news - she tends to lean forward and pull her shoulders back to show off her ample assets while looking through her fringe with "I-know-you've-just-got-up-but-come-to-bed" eyes. Quite frankly, with Kate Lawler's broadcasting skills and having to watch Iain Lee without Daisy Donovan next to him to ease the pain, Zora is the only real reason to watch this shambles of a program. However, Zora has issues. She feels she cannot get presenting or reporting jobs with the BBC because people cannot take her seriously with her prominent breasts.
Who knows why this should be as she has shown her keen presenting skills with such carefully constructed links like (as I heard) "Now, more on that 7 year old who got shot" and (as reported on other websites) "Now, more on those dead girls in Soham"? And large breasts never stopped John Simpson, and in fact may have helped him when he wore a burkha to pretend to be a Muslim lady so that he could sneak into Kabul.
So, at this time, it would appear that the former Capital FM DJ who only got on TV because of her huge knockers will disappear from our screens in three weeks time. In order to cope, I think I will have to get TFMrs. to "assume the Zora position" and read The Guardian to me. 
