  Justin Timberlake. The subject of one of the most important questions of modern day life – “How the fuck did the pan scourer-haired one from N-Sync become a international megastar?” Alas, soon this question will be lost in the mists of time, because Justin is destined to join the names of Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer in the Hall Of ‘What The Fuck Were We Thinking When We Bought This?’ Fame. Why? NIPPLEGATE, and his subsequent behaviour, that’s why. Let us go back through the mists of time to the late 90’s. N-Sync appeared on the music scene, and people quite rightly dismissed them as Backstreet Boyz ripoffs, who were in turn dismissed as NKOTB ripoffs. However, they still managed to get their name in Smash Hits and the like due to one Ms. Britney Spears, as it appeared that the young singer was seeing an old friend of hers from her days as a ‘Mouseketeer’ on the Disney Channel – Justin Timberlake.
N-Sync now had a bit of fame as speculation grew as to whether or not Justin was slipping her a length or not. Second on the right - International Sex Symbol Alas, it was not to be on both fronts. Soon, N-Sync split and so did Justin and Britney.
One was a friendly split up, one was not (lets just say JC Chase was not commenting on the relative tinyness of Justin’s dick). However, something strange happened – Justin became popular. He even managed to hook up with The Neptunes, who gave him an internationally successful album and ‘street’ cred. He worked with Nelly, giving him more success and more popularity within the urban/R&B scene. He started getting linked to attractive women. He secured a multi-million dollar contract to advertise piss-poor beefburgers. Somehow, this former Disney Club presenter and member of a pisspoor boy band with shitty hair and no discernable talent was everywhere. Then came his previously mentioned arse-grabbing of Kylie. Fuck that the two had just performed a pathetic, completely forgettable cover version (I can’t remember the song, and I’m not that interested), HE JUST GRABBED HER ARSE!!
Then, of course, came the Superbowl. The trauma! Now the day after committing serious mental trauma on the impressionable youth of the US of A, Justin was having a bit of a laugh on the radio. He said he was pleased to give people something to talk about. This was fine – let the Christian Right get all arsey for a bit, then just continue on your merry way.
However, the force of the criticism was bigger than a lot of people expected. Janet Jackson was banned from the Grammies. A former member of N-Sync was banned from a TV show for no other reason than he was once in the same group as Justin. Britney Spear’s video was blacklisted, meaning it could be only played after 9pm because of it’s ostentatious sexuality. So, Justin did the only thing he could do – go to the Grammies and apologise. And now, his career is fucked. You see, Justin went on TV and apologised in his normal, properly educated voice. This is not the voice you had been hearing for the past couple of years from him – he had previously adopted a black-like, slightly slurred accent. Why change his voice? He said he wanted to ‘distance (himself) from the incident’ which left him “shocked and appalled” – i.e.
it wasn’t his fault. So, who’s fault was it? Janet’s? The same Janet Jackson who had been initially barred from the award ceremony, unless she apologised. In the eyes of many viewers, this middle-class white man was trying to distance himself from the black woman who had dragged his name through the mud. Timberlake’s credibility disappeared the moment he said “Sorry”. He exposed himself as a ‘white boy playing black’.
There is nothing wrong with that in itself – Eminem has had a lot of success and has proven himself as an excellent rapper. However, Justin has proved himself to be just ‘playing’. Would Eminem ever go on TV and apologise for such an incident? Of course not – he’d tell everyone complaining where to stick their lawsuits and include a verse about it in his next album.
Justin has shown what a little bitch he is, crawling on his hands and knees to beg forgiveness, which isn’t going to go down well with Neptune and Nelly fans. The song he performed at the Grammies? A version of “Senorita” – a song that is more latino than the urban music that he made his name with. Timberlake has lost the support of a big fan base and will have problems convincing many producers to work with him. He will have to find a way to reinvent himself so that he can achieve the same levels of success that he’s had before. He should ask his ex just how easy that is. 
