  26 days of freedom left! Blimey, that's getting close. With less than a week for people to reply, it's starting to come together, so we could possibly start on the table plans, a task which will require checking by the two mothers and possibly Dan Wragg, Inno and Titch to avoid bad table combinations. Basically, I think all we have to do is write cheques and buy some ribbon for Jarratt's car. = On Saturday, I went paintballing for Dave Benson and Ned's birthdays. Instead of indoor, like Titch's stag do, this was outside, which suited me a lot better, having the ability to see and all. The outfits seemed to be thicker than at Bradford too, so paintball hits seemed to hurt a lot less, though I managed not to get twatted as much as I did last time. Our group of eight got split into different teams, with a load of 14 year olds and TA members. I ended up on the opposite side as Dave Benson and Dan Wragg again while all the 14 year olds ended up with us due to not wanting to be seperated, which made me nervous (if only for the young ones, we tend to know Danny's liking of GBH to youngsters while paintballing).
We started the day with 4 Capture The Flag games, one in a basic area, the other in a woodland with bridges and huts. It was pretty cool, being able to clearly see the area, and I found I'm quite a good shot (as good as you can be with balls that move in the air. I nearly got one cracking shot off, only for it to curl away at the last moment). My ecstacy at finding out I can aim was probably what made me less tolerant of CHEATING WANKERS. Several times, people took clear hits and kept firing. One guy, I managed to hit when he leaned out behind barrels, aiming fo someone else and not seeing me, high on the arm. He flinched, and started firing at me. I shouted "Marshall, Paintcheck! " (which makes them go look), alerting a little shit who I hadn't seen, taking a shot high on the inner thigh (my only real bruise from being hit). Another, I hit clearly in the knee, he screamed, turned and started returning fire! When you scream, it's pretty obvious you've been hit. Twats. I say I've only got one bruise from being hit - I actually got me worst injury in the first game.
Trying to slyly make my way forward, I made a mad run towards a fence. Unfortunately, I caught a tree root and went face first into the ground, crushing my thumb under the gun. One of the young ones saw me, asked if I was okay. I tried to cover by crawling on my elbows, as if I meant the big sprawling dive. My right thumb is now causing me agony - I can hold my left thumb up at more than 90 degress, but my right thumb only gives me 60.
There's not much you can do with a thumb injury anyway. After the four games, we broke for a long lunch break. After, another group who'd played while we ate joined, giving a full group of 56 players. One group included a bunch of chav 16 year olds, who needed to be taught the meaning of the words "Gillete Mach 3", spouting tashes not out of place on Franz Ferdinand drummers (though this group did give me a laugh by pointing to us and saying "They must be the professionals").
The next two games involved capturing two flags from the middle of the tree fort area. At the end of the break, Chris Dickens, Inno and I had come up with our main plan - send a few of the fourteen year-olds into the middle as fast as they could run, grab the flags and come back (small targets, 'resurrection' still on, so if they got shot, they weren't out of the game for long). The minute the game started, ALL of the fourteen year-olds went screaming across the field and got the flags, leading to 15 minutes of defending. Which would have been hell, but I managed a personal triumph - I TOOK OUT DAN AND DAVE! Trying to go up the wing, me and one other guy were lying in wait and peppered them with shots. Bitching. Unfortunately, this tactic failed in the last game due to the base being further away from the flags and the kids being traumatised from the first run. The last two were Capture The Flag in the "Nam" area - bog, bushes, trees, brambles and a few paths. The first game, Chris, Inno, Rich Benson and myself saw TWO people in the whole 25 minute game. The next game, with Danny swapping teams due to several leaving early, was pretty damned cool.
Danny and I first tried sneaking, got involved in a huge fire fight on a path, before retreating into the bushes again and sneaking a bit more. This was well cool, with signalling to other troops you were on their side to avoid being shot and general sneaking. Except towards the end - Danny and I had snuck up close to their base undetected, until we spotted a guy patrolling near us.
We took him out with several clear shots. He then started firing aimlessly towards us, resulting in Danny's sense of injustice blowing our cover - "FUCK OFF! YOU'RE DEAD, YOU TWAT! " All in all, it ruled and I want to go again sometime, maybe with more people we know. By the way - be scared of Dave and Danny's idea of buying paintball guns for games in the Wragg fields. = Yesterday, I walked to Roberttown and back to Dewsbury along the Greenway (part of an attempt to move some bulk from the lower body, and put it on the legs and upper body in a good way) to see the family, get Debra a copy of a reading she's doing at the wedding and dropping off DVDs to my heavily pregnant sister (7 weeks away now).
I know a lot of people say pregnancy is a wonderous, beautiful thing, but I wonder if these people have ever seen the outline of a baby's foot and leg as it kicks out against it's mother stomach.
Ew. I got in trouble for not showing a lot of attention to my mother's wedding outfit (turquoise frock coat, if you wondered) and my dad is still not sure if he's off to Elland Road next year. = Speaking of football, Dan, you're wrong about the sending offs: *Fletcher's first booking, possibly a bit harsh, but he did kick the ball away (either that, or it was an attempted pass and I'm right in my first impressions about him). Once you are booked, it's stupidity if you go for a flying studs-up challenge from behind right in front of the ref. *It's Christiano Ronaldo! The petulant diving bumboy should have been sent off several times. The odds of the first one being a dive were good, and to claim he was playing on when he looks at the linesman and ref before chipping the ball suggests he knew what he was doing.
In conclusion - he's a little shit who deserves all the sending offs and 50:50 challenges with Danny Mills that he will recieve in future. The Leeds game sounded a laugh, what with Barmby being abused and Smithy getting some stick for his comments about possibly joining The Scum in midweek. The one thing I noticed was Olembe starting. Considering most of the loan players got dumped, and he hadn't played for months, I was surprised to see him start.
I always felt sorry for him, as he was the best French league loanee by a country mile. The problems really started in his first game, when he played a nice chipped pass over the defence, perfect for the striker to run on to. Unfortunately, that striker was a lazy, fat, overpaid cunt, who balled out Olembe for suggesting he would have to move to get a ball. Our new keeper, Carson, had a decent game as well - one of the saves from Joe Cole looking really great. = So, another week ahead. I'm not feeling too motivated, as it's too hot and I can't be arsed, so there may be some new stuff or b3ta pics in the near future. 
