  Well, with one weekend before Christmas, here are the favourites for the Christmas Number 1. As for most years, pretty shite.
2/5 - Pop Idol 12, Happy Xmas (War is Over) Jesus, this was crap when John and Yoko did it. What makes Simon Cowell think this ‘song’ needs to be covered by a bunchy of spotty, fat, ugly karaoke singers? Tossers, the bunch of them. And I’m glad that little scrotum-sucker from Barnsley with the same haircut as the winner of Fame Academy is out. 4/1 - The Darkness, Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End) BUY THIS! BUY TWO COPIES! BUY TWO COPIES FOR EVERYONE YOU KNOW!
Dear lord, this is fucking awesome. A great 70’s rock style Christmas song in the style of Wizzard and Slade, including a shout of “Come On, Kids!”. 8/1 - Michael Andrews feat Gary Jules, Mad World Hmmm, weird. A two-year-old cover version, this has been getting a lot of play on Radio 2 in the past few months, probably because Wogan got around to watching Donnie Darko. As a song, I don’t think it works as well without the images it is set to in the film. 14/1 - Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne, Changes Crap.
Really bland. Probably wouldn’t even be No 1. now if it wasn’t for someone off their tits jumping on a quad bike, Rik Mayall-stylee. 20/1 - Avid Merrion, Proper Crimbo I wish a long and painful death of Leigh Francis and any cunt who buys anything to do with Bo, Selecta! 20/1 - UB40, Swing Low, Sweet Chariot FUCKING KILL ME NOW. Egg chasing, blind patriotism by twats who never watched the sport until three weeks ago and the worst band outside of Ocean Colour Scene.
What a load of crap. So, hopefully, The Darkness will claim their first number 1. Unfortunately,as we know, the vast majority of single buyers are arses and most people who want The Darkness have already been on Kazaa. So, as we get ready for a Christmas where explosons will still be heard in Baghdad, let's have a song with a completely inappropriate subtitle full of hypocritical sentiments from a drugged up, dead scouser. **UPDATE** I have information that is usually reliable, but I accept no responsibility for the accuracy of this unless, of course, it's right. Put your money on The Darkness, but it you want cover yourself, put a bit on Gary Jules. Monster!
**UPDATE UPDATE** Well, my info was pretty reliable. Darkness in lead, Gary Jules a couple of thousand behind, both outselling Pop Twunts 3:1. William Hill has cut the odds on The Darkness and Gary Jules to 8/11 and 5/2 respectively. 
