  A quote from the completely lovely Ms Loos, who is prepared to fill in the blanks for us if the matter should ever go to court. How wrong is it the first thing I thought of when I saw that was "wart"? What a charming story she also told of the time that Beckham sent her a text message that would have the astericks key on many a News of The World journalist's keyboard buggered that she just had to pop into a museum toilet to "finish of there and then".
= Tarantino as a guest judge on American Idol! Damn, I'm going to have to get my family to tape that. One highlight is Quentin pointing out exactly why "My Heart Will Go On" should be banned from the program.
Now, let's see if I can get past the next few months and wait for the Kill Bill box set, instead of jumping straight in and buying the basic Vol 1. disc. Speaking of violent, bloody films: My second gripe with the film comes right at the end, when He is Risen! It's a short sequence where we see the boulder shift out the way, and a healthy, engimatic Christ emerge from the darkness. Oi, Les! No spoilers, you twat! I didn't come on here and tell everyone that they found Nemo, did I?
= Well, yesterday was pretty good. I've ordered Dan's usher outfit for him (gone for a 40L jacket, which is the same width as me, but a bit longer) and bought potentially my new favourite game, Splinter Cell. However, something cooler happened yesterday. GUESS WHO HAS AN OFFER FOR A PGCE COURSE AT LEEDS UNI, BITCH! Hell, yeah. Went in, handed in my "Not a Paedo" form and a copy of my degree, had an essay to write based on some article in the TES and how it has implications for my subject (not that it mattered in the end) and an interview.
The best part of the interview is that it was the guy I talked to back in October, so he knew me pretty well anyway. The only things that could have changed his opinion was my GTTR application, but that looked better than expected thanks to my former University tutor's statement about me. He thinks I'm intelligent, a good communicator and a good worker, who doesn't show his true abilities in the exam situation (damned straight). I am quite surprised he could form these opinions, considering the number of tutorials I blew off for more important stuff (Metal Gear Solid, Final Fantasy IX etc...).
Still, after asking what I thought of Westborough and if I had any concerns about teaching Biology up to Key Stage 3 (I said something about not studying it for 9 years, not my true burning question - "Will I have to talk about willies to thirteen year-olds? "), he said "Well, this is the part where I tell you you will get a response in the next couple of weeks, but I'll tell you now, we're giving you an offer".
They'll take any cunt at the minute, I guess. So, that's a 9 month course starting in September, on a training salary of £6K. Apparently, I will be eligible for a Student Loan Payoff, which pisses me off since I've pretty much paid 60% of it off. Still, in my future, I guess I see Asda shelves, an usher's uniform or serving alcopops to pock-faced girls wearing Kappa and/or Burberry in Dewsbury. = Actually, not all of yesterday was that great. I need to replace my passport, which I lost moving from York to Dewsbury.
TFMrs suggested I go to the Post Office, who check it for you and fast-track it off. So... 9am: Walk up to the counter, to be served by Middle-Aged Woman. She tells me I need to fill out an LS01 form for a lost passport. I note it asks for a crime number. "Don't worry, sir. If you leave it blank, it will be fine. " However, I have stupidly forgotten my brith certificate.
As I leave the PO, TFMrs rings telling me she's heading into town to get her boots fixed. I ask her to bring the certificate. 9.10 am: I queue up again and get sent to a window with a younger woman. She's checking everything then stops. "Have you a crime number for the passport? ", "No", "We can't send it off then, sir". I explain that the earlier woman said it wasn't a problem.
Said MAW comes to the window and says I need a crime number or it will be rejected . I point out that this differs to her position 10 minutes ago, but she remains adamant. I need to contact the police. 9.30am: Back in the flat, I call Dewsbury Police Station for a crime number. I get put through to Cleckheaton. "I'd like to report a missing passport", "When did you lose it, sir?
", "Last January. ", ".... well, .... you need to contact Dewsbury in person". 9.50 am: I enter Dewsbury Police Station. No-one is at the desk. 10.05am: An officer arrives at the desk. 15 minutes! I could have committed any number of crimes in that time! "Can I help you", "I'd like to report a lost passport", "Was it stolen? ", "No, lost in a move, but I need a crime number to apply for a new one", "No sir , you need a Lost Property Number from the passport office" 10.15am: "Hello, and thank you for ringing the Passport Service.
We would like to make customers aware...." 10.20am: "Hello, ca i take your name, sir"..... "No, sir. If you leave the form blank, we'll process it as lost rather than stolen. ", "So, I leave the form blank?".... 10.40am: I queue, I get the MAW. "Have you got a number then?".... 10.50am: "There's your receipt, sir. Sorry for the confusion" Two hours to hand in a form. Brilliant. It'd by easier if I was a Romanian, lesbian mother-of-three!
(/Inno rant mode off) = Ah, bollocks to it. With the offer, I doubt anything will put me in a bad mood for the next few days... urlLink Oh,right. Shit. Well, it worked last time, so... "Leeds'll win. Viduka, last minute. Monster!
" 
