  I missed the Brits last night. Good job, really, becuase I think my TV wouldn't have survived the kicking I would have given it. So, according to the British Record Industry, what was the best in music last year? British male solo artist: Daniel Bedingfield Also nominated: Badly Drawn Boy, David Bowie, Dizzee Rascal, Will Young. British female solo artist: Dido Also nominated: Annie Lennox, Amy Winehouse, Jamelia, Sophie Ellis-Bextor. Seriously, look at those lists.
Did Badly Drawn Boy and Annie Lennox do anything last year? Amy Winehouse? Who the fuck is she? These are always piss-poor catergories anyway. I'm just surprised Joan Armatrading isn't listed, as she was every year throughout the 90s. British album: The Darkness - Permission to Land Also nominated: Daniel Bedingfield - Gotta Get Thru This, Blur - Think Tank, The Coral - Magic and Medicine, Dido - Life for Rent.
Right decision, but look at the nominations. Isn't Bedingfield's album 2 years old anyway? British group: The Darkness Also nominated: Busted, The Coral, Sugababes, Radiohead. The Coral. Really? British single: Dido - White Flag Also nominated: Jamelia - Superstar, Mis-Teeq - Scandalous, Rachel Stevens - Sweet Dreams My LA Ex, Gareth Gates featuring The Kumars - Spirit in the Sky (Voted for by commercial radio listeners) Proof that commercial radio is a big pile of shite.
Not one of those songs is in anyway listenable (No, Inno, becuase you can wank to the video doesn't make it good). British rock act: The Darkness Also nominated: Feeder, Muse, Primal Scream, Stereophonics. (Chosen by Kerrang! TV viewers) Are Muse and the Scream still going? And there are Kerrang readers who still listen to the 'Phonics? British urban act: Lemar Also nominated: Amy Winehouse, Big Brovaz, Dizzee Rascal, Mis-Teeq (Voted for by MTV Base viewers) Oh fuck off, MTV Base viewers.
One artist of quality nominated and the winner is a guy who came third in Fame Academy. British dance act: Basement Jaxx Also nominated: Goldfrapp, Groove Armada, Kosheen, Lemon Jelly. Wow. A catergory where the one going nominee won. Lemon Jelly? That fucking "All the ducks are swimming in the water" song?
That was a joke, right? British breakthrough artist: Busted Also nominated: Dizzee Rascal, Jamie Cullum, Lemar, The Darkness. (Chosen by BBC Radio 1 listeners) Fair enough. JAMIE CULLUM?! Radio 1 listeners?! How is this midget Connick Jr ripoff getting on there?
I blame Edith Bowman. Pop act: Busted Also nominated: Black Eyed Peas, Christina Aguilera, Daniel Bedingfield, Justin Timberlake. (Voted for by viewers of ITV1's CD:UK, readers of The Sun and Samsung Fun Club members) Well, those nominations pretty much confirm my views of Sun readers and CD:UK viewers. International male solo artist: Justin Timberlake Also nominated: 50 Cent, Beck, Damien Rice, Sean Paul. Beck? Ronald Fucking McDonald better enjoy this while it lasts.
International female solo artist: Beyonce Knowles Also nominated: Christina Aguilera, Kylie Minogue, Missy Elliott. Well, again a piss poor group, but it's interesting how Beyonce wins with only one good song and an album full of really dull, unlistenable R&B. If anyone actually ever got past that song, they'd realise she's shite. International album: Justin Timberlake - Justified Also nominated: Beyonce Knowles - Dangerously in Love, Christina Aguilera - Stripped, OutKast - Speakerboxxx/The Love Below, The White Stripes - Elephant. Oooh, just guess how happy I am with this one. A double album of the best hip-hop in years; an excellent record with simple, brilliant songs showing the range of sounds possible from two instruments or a CD of a member of N'Sync doing Michael Jackson down the kareoke.
Decisions, decisions... International group: The White Stripes Also nominated: Black Eyed Peas, Kings of Leon, OutKast, The Strokes. ...and no-one should be beating OutKast in any catergory this year, anyway. THE STROKES?! THE FUCKING STROKES!!! There second album is shite, no-one is buying it and even the likes of the NME is starting to go "Well, erm, yeah, s'alright, but not great". International breakthrough artist: 50 Cent Also nominated: Evanesence, Kings of Leon, Sean Paul, The Thrills.
Jesus, it really is bad when a monotonous rapper who ain't all that is probably the deserving winner. Outstanding contribution to music: Duran Duran HA HA HA HA HA! No, really? HA HA HA! So, just to remind you, last year was the year of Darkness, Busted, Timberlake and Bedingfield. And I thought the only thing the last guy had done last year was break his fucking neck.
Oh, and another b3ta.com entry. urlLink 
