  In our hotel in Corfu, The Mrs. and I had a TV. One of the available channels was, bizarrely, German MTV. An advantage of German MTV is this – no censorship in the middle of the day. The downside – the same fucking songs, constantly.
Oh, and a German boyband called O-Zone, who make me wish 911 had never split. Two songs, which were overplayed to death, are two which have been overplayed to death here - Eamon’s “Fuck It (I Don’t Want You Back)” and his apparent ex-girlfriend, Frankee’s, reply “Fuck You Right Back”. Both successful, but I have pretty much managed to avoid them over here, and missed their full glory. Only now can I appreciate these masterpieces. Eamon’s original is a song in a “doo-wop” style, mainly standing out because he says the words “fuck” and “ho” a lot. Otherwise, this song would disappear straight away as another moaning twat going on about his cheating ex. First thing that has to be said – Eamon is an odd looking fucker. I know I have to be careful, making these claims when there is going to be a lot of pics of me up in the near future, but I thinking Eamon, in the grand scheme of things – not the best catch for the young woman out there. Basically, Eamon’s lass cheated on him and he’s a bit unhappy. In fact – there is only one line suggesting this (“Ya played me, ya even gave him head”), the rest of the song, just calling her a “ho” and a “bitch”. That’s it. How fucking boring. For a guy who styles himself as a hard bloke, he does moan like a pissy bitch, doesn’t he.
At least Eminem threatens his ex-wife with decapitation. This song is little more than a jazzed up hissy fit. After the success of this aural tantrum, Frankee, the supposed ex of Eamon releases a reply – to the same fucking boring ass tune. However, there is still hope that she will put the little twat in his place. First line: “See I don't know why you cryin' like a bitch” YES!
YOU GO GIRL! Here comes the chorus… “What I did was your fault somehow” Frankee! No! You’ve reduced yourself to the level of girls who go on Trisha and say “Well, I had to sleep with your brother, best friend, father and boss because you were never around to give me love” while the blokes been busy with two jobs, earning money to keep them in New Look vest tops and combat pants (combined with stilettos for a really classy look). What the hell is that? “Your fault somehow”. So you have no excuse for cheating on the boring arse, slightly effeminate tosspot?
Dear me. I haven’t felt so betrayed since Geri swapped Girl Power for botox and vitamin injections. So after careful consideration, the two songs dominating the charts are fucking awful tripe. And yet – you can’t go anywhere in Europe without being exposed to this crap. Once the novelty of a sub-Mariah Carey tune with a bit of swearing has worn off, there is nothing to this songs. Hopefully, this is there 15 minutes of fame (Frankee possibly getting another 2 minutes with a Hustler photoshoot) and we never have to hear from them again.
= Quick thing from the Leeds Utd website and their profile for new striker, Julian Joachim: "Was called up to play for St Vincent recently only to be told during his flight that he was not eligible to play for them after all! Hopes of a return to the England fold are not too far away...." Because if I wanted to return to the England squad, there's only one club I'd join this summer... 
