  This is my blog. I should be able to say what I feel right? nope, i can't, because then all i will get is a backlash of people thinking that all am is jealous and selfish. Also, by posting it, i might offend someone. So i'll just tiptoe around the real thing for now and let you pick up on it. It's a strange thing to be jealous of someone you love. There's no way you could hurt them or ever tell them how much you want to knock them off... Instead, you love them, but that small hint of jealousy is always present, breeding resentment. I can't say I hate everything. Quite honestly the very thing that makes me so jealous is also the very thing that makes me so proud.
But more and more, i can't smile and pass of the actions as "personality. " It has spread us apart, put a wedge in our relationship. I don't like it, i hate it. I want to be able to smile when i see her friends laughing at her antics. But i can't, because those friends of hers, were ones i used to call my own... only to realize now they'd rather be with her. I still have my closest friends. They're my friends b/c of ME, not b/c they just met me before her. I've never considered myself the kind of person everyone likes. But can you imagine watching the people that have never liked you, ones you have never gotten along with, flocking to your baby sister like she was some sort of celebrity???
At the begining of the year, all i got was "i didn't know you had a sister? " by next year, she'll be getting the same thing. B/c nothing is my own anymore. If i have one talent, she has it and dozens more. If I get a compliment, someone gives her the same one plus that.
Since i've already given myself away... DON'T you EVER EVER start a conversation with. "Your sister is the coolest/funniest/ weirdest girl I've ever met" She's amazing, she's hilarious, she's uniquie, she's beautiful. This, i know. I've lived with her for 15 years. Can someone just forget about her for one second to have a conversation with Lizzie and not "MKat's sister?
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