  Better than yesterday, I promise. Exhausted and sick, but better inside than before. Spent the entire day in anticipation of her arrival at work with my photos, but she didn't come. Disappointed but it was sort of unrealistic anyway. Talked to her and felt better. Sometimes when we talk on the phone I really get the ZING of our connection - and other times she just sounds tired and far away.
Tonight she sounded tired and far away. I told Sarah that while my brain deeply believes that E loves me and that everything's going to be fine, my heart is harder to convince. I know she loves me - but my heart is easily confused, hurt, and distracted. My heart just doesn't understand. 
