  Wow, in all the excitement of my last post it seems that I forgot completely about the irrelevant spoiler of the day!
Let me amend that now. Who is the father of Padme's twins? Well, Threepio and Artoo were eliminated for technical reasons, although they couldn't quite understand why. To Padme's dismayed surprise, Master Yoda bowed out citing that he was a different species, although he would not disclose any further specifics.
Then, after Padme had spent some time counting backwards on her fingers, Mace and the coffee guy were also eliminated. The coffee guy ran from the room in tears. Count Dooku left quietly because, let's face it, he's about eighty and he didn't want to face this kind of embarrassment. Palpatine soon followed suit. This left Anakin, Obi-Wan, Captain Typho, and George Lucas. Captain Typho was eliminated when the handmaiden Dorme jealously stepped forward and spat, "He was with ME that night. " Obi-Wan and Anakin then engaged one another in a duel, while George looked on and laughed maniacally.
Just when it seemed that this might go on forever, the paternity test results came back. They revealed that the father was, indeed, Anakin Skywalker. He enthusiastically embraced his wife, while over his shoulder, she and George exchanged a wink. Everything was going as planned... Next time: So, just who IS the Phantom Menace? It came with a matching tie, using a liberal definition of the term "matching" They're both made of fabric? Pretty much. 
