  SOMETIMES THE ONION IS MORE SNARKY THAN FUNNY. This is not one of those times. The June 2 issue contains stories like Gay Couple Feels Pressured to Marry, Shotgun Blast To Abdomen Just Pisses Wilfred Brimley Off More , and Area Father Urges Reopening of 1998 Missing Rake Case .
It also has this News in Brief entry, which I didn't pick up on right away, 'cause I'm slow: City Maoist Visits Country Maoist WUHAN, CHINA—City Maoist Xing Zhen Shengde returned Monday from a visit to Dunyang, where his country Maoist cousin Ni Yuxian resides. "The great Chairman Mao said we would build a socialist society based on agriculture and peasant farming, and that the peasant had the strength of the mountain and the wind in the trees," the urbane Marxist-Leninist reported Tuesday.
"Nevertheless, I did not enjoy eating the rotting pig heads that pass for food in that hell-on-earth. Also, all of the peasants wore sandals. " Ni said he understands that sturdy shoes must indeed be needed for escaping the muggers and prostitutes on every street corner in Wuhan. And finally, there's this infographic, which I liked: 
